Interpersonal Links
Spotlight on Students of Relationships & Life
Selected by Doug Brenner, PhD
Last revised:  4-23-2009

         Disclaimer            (Newer version of this site--optimized for Internet Explorer 7.x , at: Improving Relationships & Communication)

          Quick View of Links
Beginning Approaches on Human
Relationships & Communication
Communication Skills &
Conflict Resources
Emotional Intelligence Empathy, Listening,
Compassion
Forgiveness Gratitude, Happiness,
Contentment, Peace
Parenting Psychological Resources
Relationship Help & Love Deep Ecology
(See newer site- link above)

Personal Transformation
(See newer site- link above)



Expanded View of Content
Beginning Approaches
on Human Relationships
& Communication
--Institute of Heart Math
--Tel Franklin
--Mimi Guarneri
--Kirk Laman
--James J. Lynch
--David Servan-Schreiber
--Brad Walton
--Martin Buber
--Kelly Bryson
--Marshall Rosenberg (Nonviolent Comm./Compassion)
--Byron Katie
--don Miguel & Jose Ruiz
--David Dibble
--Ray Dodd
--Joseph Chilton Pierce
--Gerald Jampolsky & Diane Cirincione
--Lee Jampolsky
--Paul Pearsall
--Linda Kavelin Popov (The Virtues
  Project)
--Riane Eilser (Violence,
Domestic Violence)
--David Loye
--Cherie Carter-Scott
--Wayne Dyer
--Virginia Satir
--Margaret Wheatley
--MomentofLove.org
--WebofLove.org
Communication Skills
& Conflict Resources

--Assertiveness Training  (at MentalHelp.Net)
--Developing Assertiveness
(at MentalHelp.Net)
--Making Assertive Requests (at MentalHelp.Net)
--Randy Patterson
--Nick Halpin

"I" Messages--Taking Responsibility
Moderating Need for Approval/Self-esteem
Coping.org (James J & Constance M. Messina)
Body Image Links
Media Watch
Body Image Site--The Quest for Perfection
Conflict Resources
--
The Arbinger Institute
--Association for Conflict Resolution
--Beyond Intractability.org
--Coexistence International (Brandeis University)
--The Conflict Resolution Information Source
(Conflict Research Consortium- Univ. of Colorado)

--Univ. of Colorado Conflict Research Consortium
--
Conflict Resolution Network (Australia)
--Marc Gopin
--Mediate.com
--National Association for Community Mediation
--North American Institute for Conflict Resolution
--Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron  
  McMillan,  Al Switzler (Crucial
  Conversations--Vital Smarts)
--PeaceWeb Network of Communities for Peacemaking
& Conflict Resolution  (NCPCR)
--Public Dialogue Consortium
        
Emotional Intelligence
--Tara Bennett-Goleman
--Travis Bradberry
--The Consortium for Research on Emotional Intelligence in Organizations
--Daniel Goleman (Emotional
 Intelligence Services)
--Emotional Intelligence Home Page  (Steve Hein)
--Anabel Jensen (Six Seconds, EQ Today)
--Miriam Greenspan
--Anthony Hendrix (outline from
college course on emotions)
--Candace Pert
--Jeanne S. Segal
--David Viscott
--Gary Spielmann on Emotional Resilience
--Robert Plutchik's Emotions Wheel
--National Resilience Resource Center (Univ. of Minn.)
--Emotional Resilience (MentalHelp.Net)
--The Resilience Solutions Group (ASU)
--Project Resilience
--Jeffrey E. Young (Life-Traps/ Schema)
Empathy, Listening,
Compassion

--Roots of Empathy
--Lawrence J. Bookbinder

--Center for the Development of Peace & Well-Being
    
--Inner Bonding (Margaret Paul & Erika Chopich)
--International Listening  Association (ILA)
--Sharon Salzberg    

Forgiveness
--Campaign for Love & Forgiveness
  (The Fetzer Insitute)

--Eileen R. Borris-Dunchanstang

--Robert D. Enright
--Charles Klein
--Jim Dincalci (The Forgiving Way)
--Beverly Engel
--
Beverly Flanigan

--Edward Hallowell
--Michael Henderson
--The Hoffman Institute
--Larry James
--Hawaii Forgiveness Project
--Fred Luskin
(Forgive for Good)
--
Michael E. McCullough

--Sidney B. Simon, Suzanne Simon
--Colin Tipping (Radical Forgiveness)
--Everett Worthington
--John-Roger
--Mariah Burton Nelson
--Guy Pettitt
--
Robin Casarjian (Lionheart Foundation)
--Elie Wiesel
--Simon Wiesenthal
--Janet Abrahms Spring

    
& many sites, including:
--A Campaign for Forgiveness
--Catherine Blount Foundation
--Center for the Development of Peace & Well-Being
--The Forgiveness Net
--The Forgiveness Project
--Desmond Tutu Peace Centre
--The Forgiveness Web
--International Forgiveness Institute
--Journey to Forgiveness
--LearnWell Forgiveness Center /Therapy
--Lionheart Foundation
--Murder Victims' Families for Reconciliation
--Spirituality & Health: On Forgiveness
--Suffolk University: Center for Restorative Justice
--Tools for Forgiveness--coping.org
--Why Forgive?
--Worldwide Forgiveness Alliance

Gratitude, Happiness,
Contentment, Peace

--Angel--A Network for Grateful Living 
(Br. David Steindl-Rast)
--Dottie Billington
--Joan Borysenko
--Sarah Ban Breathnach
--Deborah Norville
--Mary Jane Ryan
--Marci Shimoff
--Dan Baker
--Richard Carlson
--Robert A. Emmons
--Barbara Fredrickson
--Dan Gilbert
--Jonathan Haidt
--Robert & Miranda Holden
  (The Happiness Project)

--Authentic Happiness (Martin Seligman)   
--Robert A. Johnson

--Barry Neil Kaufman
--Gregg Krech (Naikan)


Parenting
--Pathfinders (James J. & Constance Messina (Coping.org)
--Attachment Parenting International
--BEPE (Birth & Early Parenting Educators)
--David Chamberlain
--APPPAH Association for Pre- & Perinatal Psychology & Health
--Rahima Baldwin Dancy
--Mary Gordon (Roots of Empathy)
--The Natural Child Project
--Jan Hunt
--Conscious Parenting (Kathlyn & Gay Hendricks)
--AskDrSears.com (Bill, Martha Sears, et al)
--Center for Nonviolent Communication Resources for Parents
--Parenting with Dignity (Mac Bledsoe)
--Edward Hallowell
--Pam Leo (Attachment/ Connection Parenting)
--Touch the Future (Michael Mendizza)
--Stuart Brown (Institute for Play)
--Campaign for a Commerical-Free Childhood
--Jack Pransky
--Dan Kindlon
--Michael G. Thompson
--PBS Parents
--Jack Travis & Meryn Callander
--Alliance for Transforming the Lives of Children (ATLC)
--Coalition for Improving Maternity Services (CIMS)
--Bringing Baby Home (John Gottman &
Alyson Shapiro
)
--
Raffi Cavoukian (Child Honouring)
--Alice Miller
--The Innocence Quilt
--Project No Spank
--Center for Children's Health & the Environment (Dr. Philip Landrigan)
--Michel Odent
--Daniel Siegel & Mary Hartzell
--Thomas Verny
--Zero to Three (& National Training Institute)
--Santa Barbara Graduate Institute
(degrees in Clinical, Prenatal,Perinatal & Somatic Psychology)
--HealingResources.info
Psychological Resources
--many resources at:
--Helpguide
  mentalhealth.net
  mentalhelp.net/psyhelp

--Sydney Banks
--Three Principles Foundation
--West Virgina Institute
  for Innate Health
--Albert Ellis (R.E.B.T.)
--Abraham Maslow
--Matthew McKay
--Eve Wood,M.D.

Relationship Help & Love
--John Amodeo
--
Real Love Institute
(Greg Baer)
--Leo Buscaglia
--The Gottman Institute (John & Julie Gottman)
--The Hendricks Institute (Gay & Kathlyn Hendricks)
--Imago Therapy (Helen L. Hunt & Harville Hendrix)
--Human Awareness Institute (Stan Dale)
--Bill Ferguson (Mastery of Life)
--Edward Hallowell
--Susan Jeffers
--Rhonda Britten
--Diane Conway
--Kelly E. Johnson
--Harriet Lerner
--Stephen and Ondrea Levine

--Creative Growth Center (John Bradshaw)
--MMS Institute (Cherie Carter-Scott)
--The Option Institute (Barry Neil Kaufman)

--International Network of Personal Meaning
--ILoveULove.com
--Melody Beattie
--Pia Mellody
--Peter Levine
--Terry Real (Relational Recovery Institute)
--Robert Sardello (School of Spiritual Psychology)
--Barry & Joyce Vissell (Shared Heart Foundation)   
-The Couples Clinic (Brent J. Atkinson)
--Will Miller (Refrigerator Rights)
--Nina Atwood (Singles Coach)
--Susan Hamson (Gender Resources/Violence Prevention)
(Alternatives to Mars & Venus)
--Men for Change
(Gender Resources/Violence Prevention)
--Emotional Odyssey Program
--William July II                                                           

Deep Ecology
(See new site for these
links) --link at top of this page

Personal Transformation
(See new site for these
links) --link at top of this page

A category you'd like to see???
DISCLAIMER: The inclusion of any web-site or book title does not imply agreement or endorsement. These resources are offered for informational purposes only.  As always, use your own discernment and judgment; seek professional help if your problem warrants such! This site is not intended to be comprehensive nor does the failure to include other web-sites imply any judgment about lack of importance or usefulness. Your comments and corrections will help keep this site current, accurate and useful as it continues to evolve. No violation of copyright laws is intended; if any material, summaries or images violate copyright laws, they will be removed upon request. To contact, email: douglas DOT brenner AT gcmail DOT maricopa DOT edu  (note: replace DOTs with periods, replace AT with @ and remove any spaces---an active link here has not been provided in order to limit spam email--sorry!).  If you're using this site, I would enjoy hearing from you! 

                     
                                                                                                                                                         
Featured Sites and Wisdom
   The Global Mind Shift                          The Great Story                          Foundation for Global Community --(See flash: "An Extraordinary Moment")                 
   Evolve (A Global Community Center for Conscious Evolution)
               Climate Crisis                From the Four Directions   
"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society." --Jiddu Krishnamurti
"Health is not only to be well-- but to use well-- every power we have." --Florence Nightingale, 1893

“What keeps us alive, what allows us to endure?  I think it is the hope of loving, or being loved.”—Meister Eckhart

"...mankind's natural orientation is to be immersed in relationships, whether they be in internal or external contact with others." --Karen B. Walant, PhD, in Creating the Capacity for Attachment
"Let the first act of every morning be to make the following resolve for the day: I shall not fear anyone on earth. I shall fear only God. I shall not bear ill toward anyone. I shall not submit to injustice from anyone. I shall conquer untruth by truth. And in resisting untruth, I shall put up with all suffering."--Mohandis K. Ghandi
"We are a part of everything that is beneath us, above us, and around us.  Our past is our present, our present is our future, and our future is seven generations past and present."--Haudenosaunee teaching
"This earth which is spread out like a map around me is but the lining of my inmost soul exposed." --Henry David Thoreau
"All human beings resist change because we cling to familiar patterns and in the familiar we find our security."--William James
"The question of love is one that cannot be evaded. Whether or not you claim to be interested in it, from the moment you are alive you are bound to be concerned with love, because love is not just something that happens to you: It is a certain special way of being alive.  Love is, in fact, an intensification of life, a completeness, a fullness, a wholeness of life."–Thomas Merton, from: “Love and Need: Is Love a Package or a Message?” -in Love & Living 1979 Farrar, Straus & Giroux
"Everything that is in the heavens, on the earth, and under the earth, is penetrated with connectedness, penetrated with relatedness. . . . God has arranged everything in the universe in consideration of everything else."--Hildegard of Bingen
"For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.".--Rainer Maria Rilke
"There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle."--Albert Einstein

"I have often wondered what it would be like if we dared to love this life -- the fragile and the vulnerable, the endangered, daring to be humble before the magnitude of our beginnings, daring to lean our species into a stubborn and pliant wonder, until reverence shines in all that we do -- until we live an economics of reverence, a theology of reverence, a politics of reverence -- until it permeates education, development and health care, homes and relationships, arts and agriculture --a reverence for life, for planetary, social and personal wholeness."--Carolyn McDade

"You must understand the whole of life, not just one little part of it. That is why you must read, that is why you must look at the skies, that is why you must sing and dance, and write poems and suffer and understand, for all that is life."--Jiddu Krishnamurti
Beginning Approaches (to Human
Relationships  & Communication)

"Our first teacher is our own heart."--Cheyenne proverb
"Deep Listening from the heart is one half of true communication. Speaking from the heart is the other half." --Sara Paddison, The Hidden Power of the Heart
"The journey to the Self begins with the discovery of the heart!"
"The heart has its reasons, which reason does not know."--Blaise Pascal, Pensees, 1670

“Educating the mind without educating the heart is not education at all.”
--Aristotle

"The entire Universe is condensed in the body, and the entire body in the Heart. Thus the Heart is the nucleus of the Whole Universe." --Sri Ramana Maharshi

  HeartMath Logo                                                                                       
 
No understanding of, nor work on one's life or relationships, is complete without understanding the heart's role in reflecting and influencing our evolving emotional landscape, the ups and downs of life. This site & the FreezeFramer(R) as a tool/ perspective to improve being a human be-ing--one who learns to see with the eyes of the heart, as well as with the mind's analytical eye(s), is highly recommended!  At the core of the HeartMath method of emotional regulation is the idea that, by focusing on positive feelings such as appreciation, care, or compassion, anyone can create dramatic changes in his or her heart rhythms. These changes precipitate a series of neural, hormonal, and biochemical events that dissipate stress and anger and lead to greater well-being. The benefits from using this system are remarkable and far-reaching: blood pressure drops, stress hormone levels fall, immune system activity increases, and anti-aging hormone levels rise.
"There is a light that shines beyond all things on earth, beyond the highest, the very highest heavens. This is the light that shines in your heart."--Chandogya Upanishad
"No, the heart isn't just a pump, as cardiologists describe it.  It is more.  Scientists can measure its energy from five feet away.  It radiates.  It activates our deepest values, transforming them from something we think about to what we live.  It knows things our mind does not, cannot.  The heart is the place of courage and spirit, integrity and commitment.  It is a source of energy and deep feelings that calls us to learn, cooperate, lead, and serve."--R. Cooper & A Sawaf in Executive IQ (1997), NY: Penguim Putnam
Institute of HeartMath
HeartMath
Some of their resources, besides many downloadable PDF (Adobe Acrobat) files –detailing research are available in the areas of healthcare, education, business, etc. at the web site.
Books & pamphlets include:

Doc Childre & Howard Martin, The HeartMath Solution: The Institute of HeartMath's Revolutionary Program for Engaging the Power of the Heart's Intelligence (1999).
Science of the Heart: Exploring the Role of the Heart in Human Performance (2001).
Doc Childre & Deborah Rozman, Overcoming Emotional Chaos  (2002).
Doc Childre & Deborah Rozman, Transforming Anger: The HeartMath Solution for Letting Go of Rage, Frustration, and Irritation (2003).
Doc Childre & Deborah Rozman, Transforming Stress: The HeartMath Solution for Relieving Worry, Fatigue, and Tension (2005) .

Secondary Sources
Joseph Chilton Pearce, The Biology of Transcendence: A Blueprint of the Human Spirit 2002.  
Paul Pearsall, The Heart’s Code: Tapping the Wisdom and Power of Our Heart Energy  (1999). Broadway Books ISBN 0-7679-0095-2
Candace B. Pert, Molecules Of Emotion: The Science Behind Mind-Body Medicine. 1999.

"You give but little when you give of your possessions.  It is when you give of yourself that you truly give." -Kahlil Gibran

"I am decided. There is no excuse, no rationalization, no logical explanation that will persuade me otherwise at this time.  I know what I believe and that, my friend, is that. I know that my heart speaks the truth to me."--Catherine Seress, The Secret Language of the Heart, Halo Publishing, 2008 (See: http://catherineseress.com/index.htm )
ISBN-10: 0979742900 ;  ISBN-13: 978-0979742903

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen nor touched . . . but are felt in the heart."  --Helen Keller (1880-1968)

 Tel FranklinTel Franklin, MD

 http://www.telfranklin.com/
 
http://www.appreciativemedicine.com/

Tel Franklin is a board-certified physician and a fellow of the American Academy of Family Physicians. Dr. Franklin also holds advanced degrees in chemistry and medicine. He completed graduate medical studies at East Carolina University and trained at The London Hospital Medical College, University of London in England. He is credentialed in Medical Acupuncture though the University of California at the Los Angeles School of Medicine, and has completed advanced study in Traditional Chinese Medicine. ...
At the University Health Systems of Eastern Carolina, Dr. Franklin authored and was the primary investigator of studies on treating coronary heart disease through lifestyle modifications. An experienced educator, he has presented seminars and workshops and has been a guest speaker at major medical conventions. He is the recipient of many honors for academic, scholastic, and research achievements, and was recently recognized as one of the 50 outstanding family physicians in the state of California by the California Academy of Family Physicians.  ..
Dr. Franklin integrates Eastern and Western philosophies in his practice. He has created an approach to health care, Appreciative Medicine™ that fosters a partnership between patient and practitioner and focuses on achieving optimal health. To disseminate his work, Dr. Franklin has formed the Center for Appreciative MedicineTM. He is in private practice and lives on the Monterey Peninsula in California.    From www.telfranklin.com
Book
Expect a Miracle: You Won't Be Disappointed (pb)  Center for Appreciative Dialogue,  2002.  ISBN-10 0970116500  ; ISBN-13: 978-0970116505

Dr. Franklin's "Appreciative Medicine" approach offers a holistic way to
improve health. See: http://www.appreciativemedicine.com/pdfs/heart-healthy.pdf
where he summarizes eight steps to being more heart-healthy!

A central idea of his process is learning to live in more positive emotions, esp. love and gratitude, thereby spending less time in negative emotions!
"Your heart will give you greater counsel than all the world's scholars."--The Talmud

"We think with the head and the heart feels the Light or Darkness of the thought."--Rudolf Steiner

Mimi Guarneri
Mimi Guarneri, M.D.Dr. Guarneri's Site
Erminia M. Guarneri, M.D., F.A.C.C., diplomat A.B.H.M, is the Founder and current Medical Director of the
Scripps Center for Integrative Medicine in La Jolla, California.  ...An English literature major as an undergraduate at New York University, Dr. Guarneri earned her medical degree from SUNY Medical Center in New York where she graduated number one in her class. She served her internship and residency at Cornell Medical Center, where she was chief medical resident, and served cardiology fellowships at both New York University Medical Center and at Scripps Clinic.  ... Since 1995, she has been an attending interventional cardiologist at Scripps Clinic and is currently a member of Scripps Clinic Medical Group.  ...A member of the American College of Cardiology, Alpha Omega Alpha, the American Medical Women's Association and a diplomat of American Board of Holistic Medicine, Dr. Guarneri is board certified in cardiology, internal medicine, nuclear medicine, and holistic medicine and holds licenses in New York and California.
She has authored several articles that have appeared in professional journals such as the Journal of Echocardiography and the Annals of Internal Medicine. Dr. Guarneri participated as a member of the writing committee for the American College of Cardiology Foundation Complementary Medicine Expert Consensus Document. This expert consensus statement on integrating complementary medicine into cardiovascular medicine was published in 2005.

Mimi Guarneri, The Heart Speaks: A Cardiologist Reveals the Secret Language of Healing (hb). Touchstone, 2006. ISBN:  0743273117 

Read: When the Heart Is Open but the Mind Is Not  &
Learning from Those I Wanted to Serve  (at Collaborative Medicine Journal)
"There is nothing so whole as a broken heart."--Menachem Mendel of Kotzk
"The only lasting beauty is the beauty of the heart"--Rumi
 Kirk Laman
Kirk Laman, D.O.
http://www.drlaman.com/ (web site) and http://www.healingyourbrokenheart.com/ (web site)
Assistant Professor of Medicine Michigan State --University-College of Osteopathic Medicine; Heart Specialist * Author * Public Speaker * Healer/Pastor ...
Dr. Kirk Laman is a board certified cardiologist whose special interest is in helping people struggling with physical, emotional, and spiritual heart problems. Dr. Laman practices cardiology with the Thoracic Cardiovascular Institute, Mid-Michigan’s premier cardiovascular specialists. For many years Dr. Laman has recognized the important role that our thoughts and emotions have upon our heart health. His book, “How to Heal Your Broken Heart - A Cardiologist’s Secrets for Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Health” published by Advantage Press, offers readers a simple and easy way to begin the process of healing the psychological and emotional issues that trouble their hearts.  . . .Dr. Laman is an avid writer. He has written for The Detroit News, Medical Economics, Healthy and Fit magazine, and the new age paper, Phenomenews. His monthly newsletter Mending Hearts is available for people wanting to know more about total heart heath.  ...
Another passion of Dr. Laman’s is public speaking. Drawing on his twenty years of practical experience as a cardiologist and healer/pastor he offers useful lessons in heart-felt living.  Dr. Laman is on the speaker’s bureau for Pfizer, a Fortune 500 Company, and Wyeth Laboratories.  How Putting Your Heart into Life Makes the Difference––is one of the key themes of Dr.Laman's public speaking. His unique message is to demonstrate how applying a "Heart Centered" approach can make every endeavor successful-whether it be business, your heart health, or just life.  modified from:
http://www.drlaman.com/about_dr_laman.html
Note: included because Dr. Laman draws attention to the importance of the heart and how we live with our emotions...

Books
How to Heal Your Broken Heart: A Cardiologist's Secrets for Physical, Emotional, and Spiritual Health (hb) (2006) Advantage Media Group ISBN-10: 1599320150;  ISBN-13: 978-1599320151
How to Heal Your Broken Heart- Your 3 Step Method for Finding Greater Love  (Audio CD companion to book (above)
How Your Negative Emotions Create Heart Disease  (Audio CD)

Healing Your Heart A 3 CD Audio Program
Improving Your Heart Health with the Mediterranean Diet
Practicing Remembrance (Audio CD)

See article: "Learning Open Heartedness: Insights From a Cardiologist"
at: http://www.ofspirit.com/kirklaman1.htm

& "Avoiding the Health Risks of Anger" at http://ezinearticles.com/?Avoiding-the-Health-Risks-of-Anger&id=290368
"Stress--Can It Really Cause Heart Disease" at:
Conscious Mind Journal
Also, see "Resources" at Dr. Laman's site:

http://www.drlaman.com/free_resources.html
"No animal or plant lives alone or is self-sustaining.  All live in communities including other members of their own species, and also a number, usually a large variety, of other sorts of animals and plants. The quest to be alone is indeed a futile one, never successfully followed in the history of life."--George Gaylord Simpson, evolutionary biolgist, 1994; quoted in A Cry Unheard, by James J. Lynch (p. 79)
"The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking. . . The solution to this problem lies in the HEART of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker."--Albert Einstein
James J. Lynch
James J. Lynch
Life Care Home Page (James Lynch, Director)

Bio of Lynch  (at Bancroft Press)

See: Developing a Physiology of Inclusion: Recognizing the Health Benefits of Animal Companions”  (article by Lynch at Delta Society)
"Can talking kill you?" by Joel N. Shurkin
"An Interview with James J. Lynch" by Paul J. Rosch
(American Institute of Stress) http://www.stress.org/
Micro Music Laboratories
"The Price of Loneliness," by Colman McCarthy (Book Review of A Cry Unheard)- --excerpt:
"It is a striking fact," writes Lynch, "that mortality rates in the United States for all causes of death, and not just heart disease, are consistently higher for divorced, single, and widowed individuals of both sexes and all races. Some of the increased death rates in unmarried individuals rise as high as 10 times the rates for married individuals of comparable ages. Apart from the health toll exacted by the rising tide of human loneliness, its economic costs should give us all pause. For I am convinced that if we were to attack loneliness and its attendant symptoms of social isolation and familial and communal disintegration with the same dedication we have applied to the elimination of the physical aspects of AIDS, cancer, and heart disease, we could cut our national health expenditures by at least 50 percent."

Mind & Body Fitness (Mesics) Dr. Jim Manganiello
Books
The Broken Heart: The Medical Consequences of Loneliness NY: Basic Books, 1977(1978). ISBN: 0-465-00772-4 (cloth); ISBN: 0-465-00771-6 (pb); ISBN-13:978-0465007721
The Language of the Heart: The Body’s Response to Human Dialogue NY: Basic Books, 1985. ISBN: 0-465-03795-X
A Cry Unheard: New Insights into the Medical Consequences of Loneliness Maryland: Bancroft Press, 2000. ISBN: 1-890862-11-8

"Gamble everything for love      If you are a true Human Being.     If not, leave this gathering.       Half-heartedness doesn't      Reach into Majesty." --Rumi          
 David Servan-Schreiber
David Servan-Schreiber, M.D., PhD http://www.instincttoheal.org/

- Clinical professor of Psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh, and a lecturer in the Faculty of Medicine of Lyon (France)
-Until 2001, directed the Center for Complementary Medicine at the University of Pittsburgh’s Shadyside Hospital and Chief of the Hospital’s Division of Psychiatry and Director of the Behavorial Sciences teaching program.
 NOTE: In addition to other alternative methods of healing, Dr. Servan- Screiber endorses the HeartMath's Heart Coherence Method. See esp. Chapts 3 & 4: "The Heart and Its Reasons" & "Living With Heart Coherence" as well as Chapt 13: "Listening With the Heart."  I like his mnemonic of "Batheing the Heart"--listening deeply to others (developed in Chapt. 13)
Books
The Instinct to Heal: Curing Stress, Anxiety, and Depression Without Drugs and Without Talk Therapy (hb) Rodale, 2004.  ISBN-10:1-57954-902-0 ; ISBN-13: 978-1579549022
(pb):
Rodale Books 2004. ISBN-10: 1594861587 ; ISBN-13: 978-1594861581
Healing Without Freud or Prozac (pb) Rodale International Ltd; New ed  2005. ISBN-10: 1405077581 ; ISBN-13: 978-1405077583
     
"When a computer measures cardiac coherence, we observe that the simplest and fastest way for the body to establish coherence is to experience feelings of gratitude and tenderness toward others.  When we sense in a visceral way--emotionally--our connection to those around us, our physiology automatically achieves coherence. At the same time, when we help our physiology bring about coherence, we open the door to new ways of taking in the world around us.  This virtuous circle described by Maslow [being a better person and helping others] is the gateway to realizing the self--without stress, anxiety, or depression."-- p. 213 Instinct to Heal (hb), David Servan-Screiber
Brad Walton
Brad Walton
How Does the Heart Know Love?

WCCO radio personality Brad Walton shares his personal story of a profound transformation that followed his open heart surgery. How Does the Heart Know Love? brings new and meaningful personal insights from his emotional and spiritual transformation in learning how to deal with a broken heart and wounded soul.  ... With all of our conversations about love and exposure to the word “love,” we have done little to understand the deeper relationship of love that is so vital to our physical and spiritual heart. We feel the pain of a broken heart but don’t understand why. We find it difficult to accept the fact that we feel pain for good reasons. Those reasons are becoming more evident as modern research provides greater insight into this incredible organ. The physical and the spiritual world are joined in this pulsing universe where love finds its home. 
     *What does pain have to do with our healing?
     *Is love worth the price of its own pain?
     *How do we live with the unthinkable pain we encounter in the cost of our loving?
Love is our greatest need.
              How does your heart know love?
 from: http://www.howdoestheheart.com/
Book
How Does The Heart Know Love? (pb) Beaver's Pond Press, 2004. ISBN:1592980724 (64 pp)

When a man moves away from nature his heart becomes hard. - Lakota

Martin Buber  (1878-1965)
Martin Buber 
 
Profound Thinker, Philosopher, Educator,
  Human Being

   "All real living is meeting."



Brief Bio of Buber
Longer Bio -- Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy

Very nice tribute/synopsis of Martin Buber  at Univ. of Washington (Interpersonal. Communication)--his life & thoughts with pictures

Nice overview of Buber on Education (and LIFE)
(Smith, M. K. (2000) 'Martin Buber on education', the encyclopedia of informal education, http://www.infed.org/thinkers/et-buber.htm. Last update: Jan. 28, 2005)

Comprehensive overview of Buber—many links & nice list of recommended readings by and about Buber

See also:  http://www.buber.de/en/index.shtml (English version) --Andreas P. Schmidt
Short Version of Buber’s "I and Thou" Relationships by Alex Scott
"When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall — think of it, always."--Mahatma Ghandi
 Kelly Bryson
Kelly Bryson  
About Kelly Bryson
Book
Don't Be Nice, Be Real: Balancing Passion for Self with Compassion for Others (pb) Santa Rosa, CA: Elite Books, 2005. ISBN: 0972002855 
 

Language of Compassion
Nonviolent Communication Santa Cruz
(Center for Compassion)
See Bryson, Paying the Price for Being Nice -- (Are you having
a roommate problem with Yourself?- “Shaking the Shoulds")  
http://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/press/
article_PDF/Kelly_Bryson/Self_Motivation_KBryson.pdf

 Or, see:  The Price of Nice
http://www.nonviolentcommunication.com/press/article_PDF/
Kelly_Bryson/People_Pleasers_KBryson.pdf
If you like his material,  See Bryson in action –videoclips  (scroll down at right of videoplayer) http://nvctraining.com/nvclive/index.html
(Also clips by Marshall Rosenberg & others)


"In prayer it is better to have a heart without words than words without a heart."--Mohandas Gandhi
 Marshall Rosenberg Marshall Rosenberg                          
     "All labels are the tragic
     expression of pain
     and unmet needs"


 




Marshall Rosenberg has initiated peace programs in war torn areas including Rwanda, Burundi, Nigeria,Malaysia, Indonesia, Sri Lanka, the Middle East, Serbia, Croatia, and Ireland. A clinical psychologist, he is the founder and director of educational services for the Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC), an international nonprofit organization that offers workshops and training in 30 countries. Dr. Rosenberg is the author of Nonviolent Communication and other books and resources. 
Books
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Create Your Life, Your Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values (pb) Puddledancer Press; 2nd ed., 2003. ISBN: 1892005034
Nonviolent Communication: Create Your Life, Your Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values. (Audio CD) Sounds True; Unabridged ed., 2004. ISBN: 1591791707
We Can Work It Out: Resolving Conflicts Peacefully and Powerfully (Nonviolent Communication Guides) (pb) 32 pages, Puddledancer Press, 2004. ISBN: 1892005123
Practical Spirituality: The Spiritual Basis of Nonviolent Communication (Nonviolent Communication Guides) (pb). 32 pages. Puddledancer Press, 2005. ISBN: 189200514X
Being Me, Loving You: A Practical Guide to Extraordinary Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides) (pb) 80 pages, Puddledancer Press, 2005. ISBN: 1892005166
The Surprising Purpose of Anger: Beyond Anger Management: Finding the Gift (Nonviolent Communication Guides) (pb) Puddledancer Press, 2005. ISBN: 1892005158
Getting Past the Pain Between Us: Healing and Reconciliation Without Compromise (Nonviolent Communication Guides) (pb) 48 pages, Puddledancer Press, 2004.ISBN: 1892005077
Speak Peace in a World of Conflict: What You Say Next Will Change Your World (pb) Puddledancer Press,2005. ISBN:1892005174
Speaking Peace: Connecting With Others Through Non-Violent Communication (Audio CD) Sounds True; Unabridged ed., 2003. ISBN: 1591790778
Raising Children Compassionately: Parenting the Nonviolent Communication Way (Nonviolent Communication Guides) (pb) 48 pp, Puddledancer Press, 2004. ISBN: 1892005093
Lucy Leu, Nonviolent Communication Companion Workbook: A Practical Guide for Individual, Group or Classroom Study (pb) Puddledancer Press, 2003. ISBN:1892005042

(International) Center for Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg) 
http://www.cnvc.org/bookchap.htm  ("giving from the heart, 
the heart of
nonviolent communication")
Chapter one--Rosenberg's book, Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Create Your Life,Your Relationships, and Your World in Harmony with Your Values
The Essentials of Compassionate Communication  (Good
summary of Rosenberg);
at: Growth Promoting Communication; Growth Promoting
Relationships  (Jon Russell)
  
Nonviolent Communication (Rosenberg) Soundbytes
PuddleDancer Press –Quick Guide to NVC Resources
"Your life is what your thoughts make it." "The universe is transformation; our life is what our thoughts make it." "You have power over your mind--not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."--Marcus Aurelius
  Byron Katie
Byron Katie Byron Katie, founder of The Work, has
one job: to teach people how to end
their own suffering. As she guides
people through
the powerful process
of inquiry called The Work, they find
that their stressful beliefs —about life,
other people, or themselves—radically
shift and their lives are changed
forever.
Based on Byron Katie's
direct experience of how suffering is created and ended,
The Work is an
astonishingly simple process, accessible to people of all ages and
backgrounds, and requires nothing more than a pen and paper and an
open mind.
Through this process, anyone can learn to trace unhappiness
to its source and eliminate it there. Katie (as everyone calls her) not only
shows us that all the problems in the world originate in our  thinking: she
gives us the tool to open our minds and  set ourselves free. from her website:
http://www.thework.com/about.asp


 "When you argue  with reality, you lose--
 but only 100 percent  of the time!"

See "The Work in Action"  (check out short videos on this page)
Books
Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life (with Stephen Mitchell) Harmony; 1st ed. (2002)  ISBN: 0609608746  Loving What Is is a workbook that questions authority--but what is questioned is the authority of our own fundamental beliefs about our relationships. Known simply as "The Work," Byron Katie's methods are straightforward.
Byron Katie, with Michael Katz. I Need Your Love-Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead (pb) Three Rivers Press; Rept ed., 2006. ISBN: 0307345300
Byron Katie with Stephen Mitchell, A Thousand Names for Joy: Living in Harmony with the Way Things Are (hb) Harmony, 2007.ISBN-10: 0307339238 ; ISBN-13: 978-0307339232  (Read excerpt: Chapt. 33)
Question Your Thinking, Change The World: Quotations from Byron Katie (pb)  Hay House, 2007. ISBN-10: 1401917305 ; ISBN-13: 978-1401917302
Who Would You Be Without Your Story?: Dialogues with Byron Katie (pb) Hay House, 2008. ISBN-10: 1401921795 ;ISBN-13: 978-1401921798
   
& other resources--see her web site....
Primary Web Site:  The Work of Byron Katie
The Worksheet  (Do before doing "The Work": Judge your neighbor, write it down, ask four questions, turn it around.)
The Four Questions
The Turnaround  (after you've worked through the four questions)
The Four Questions (to ask yourself about your beliefs)
  1. Is it true?
  2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
  3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
  4. Who would you be without the thought?
"Non-violence is not a garment to be put on and off at will. Its seat is in the heart, and it must be an inseparable part of our being." ....
"Non-violence, which is the quality of the heart, cannot come by an appeal to the brain."--Mohandas Ghandi

  don Miguel Ruiz & son, don Jose
  Don MiguelDon Jose
 Primary Web Site:  don Miguel Ruiz
Books
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (pb)
Amber- Allen Publishing, 1997.ISBN: 1878424319
The Four Agreements Companion Book:
Using the Four Agreements to Master the Dream of Your Life (pb) Amber-Allen Publishing, 2000. ISBN: 1878424483  (don Miguel & Janet Mills)
The Mastery of Love: A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationship  (pb) Amber-Allen Publishing, 1999. ISBN: 1878424424
Beyond Fear:
A Toltec Guide to Freedom and Joy (pb) (The Teachings of don Miguel Ruiz as recorded by Mary Carroll Nelson) Council Oak Books,1997 ISBN:1571780386
Prayers: A Communion With Our Creator Amber-Allen Publishing, 2001. ISBN: 1878424521 (don Miguel & Janet Mills)
The Voice of Knowledge
: A Practical Guide to Inner Peace (pb) Amber- Allen Publishing, 2004. ISBN: 1878424548
Mary Carroll Nelson, Toltec Prophecies of Don Miguel Ruiz (hb) Council Oak Books, 2003. ISBN: 157178134X
"The "Four Agreements" are listed below & to the right. To understand their richness, read the book (listed above) with the same title.

   1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
    Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the
      word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the
     power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

   2. Don’t Take Anything Personally

   Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a
    projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are
    immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the
    victim of needless suffering.
  3. Don’t Make Assumptions
   Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really  want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
  4. Always Do Your Best

   Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self- judgment,  self-abuse and regret.
David Dibble
David Dibble

New Agreements Center for Enlightened Leadership  (Dibble's site)



(Read his story of his personal life transformation & his work with don Miguel Ruiz)

                  Why it Works:
The New Agreements emerged from more than two decades of research/ discovery into the nature of leadership and organizational change. Our key discoveries include:
      *The mind creates a human's individual reality. 
        *The mind of the leader creates his or her individual reality.
        *The collective mind-sets of all the people who work in an organization
          create the mind-set of the organization.
        *The reality of the organization is shaped by the mindset of leadership.
        *To change (improve) the reality (results) of an organization, we must
         change its mind-set, which manifests as culture.
        *To effect real change in an organization, leadership must be willing to
         change and grow.

        *Systems-thinking is critical for leaders in improving an organization.
        *Enlightened Leadership requires a combination of love for people and
         systems thinking. 

from: http://www.thenewagreements.com/newwebv6_006.htm
      Books
The New Agreements in the Workplace-Releasing the Human Spirit. New Dream Team, 2002. ISBN: 0972251901
  
The New Agreements are:
..
Find Your Path
Within each of us there is a higher purpose for work. Once we know our purpose, we can Find Our Path. A true path is inclusive and creates meaning for the leader, as well as the organization. Vision comes from knowing where one is going and what one is to become.
..
Love, Grow & Serve Your People
Your people ARE your business. When you love, grow and serve your people, you love grow and serve your business. When you love and serve your people, they can focus on loving and serving your customers. When you love, grow and serve others, you love, grow and serve yourself as a human being and a leader.
..
Mind Your Mind in the Moment

The mind creates one's reality, including the workplace reality. To change reality, we must change our mindsets. The first step in proactive change is to be AWARE of what our minds are doing in the MOMENT. Great leaders will become Masters of Awareness.
..
Shift Your Systems

An enlightened leader will be a systems thinker. 90% of the results you currently experience in your workplace are a result of the formal and informal systems in which your people operate - NOT their individual efforts. To enhance results and set your people up to win, you must shift (optimize) your systems.
..
Practice a Little Everyday
Mastering any new skill requires practice. Leadership is a high state of human evolution. Learning to Be and Live as an authentic, connected leader requires practice. Practice is art. We become what we practice.   from:   http://www.thenewagreements.com/newwebv6_007.htm
See also his other book: 
DreamWork Dream Interpretation - Revealing the Powerful Messages and Perfect Guidance in Our Dreams.



  Ray Dodd Ray Dodd
See:  BeliefWorks  &  EverydayWisdom
About Ray:
In 1996, after a chance meeting at the pyramids ruins in Teotihuacan, Mexico, Ray embarked on a 6-year apprenticeship with don Miguel Ruiz M.D. (author of the best-selling book, The Four Agreements). A leading authority on belief, Ray guides both individuals and business clients through his dynamic process, BeliefWorks™. Weaving together the newest ideas in biology; cutting edge neuroscience and the time honored wisdom of the ancient Toltecs of Mexico, BeliefWorks is designed to guide anyone beyond the mirage of their own beliefs. ... As author of the books, BeliefWorks and The Power of Belief and co-founder of the firm, EverydayWisdom.us, Ray has helped hundreds of individuals and businesses forge new beliefs and agreements to affect lasting and positive change.
     
Ray is a articulate and inspiring speaker easily creating opportunities for people to reconnect with their natural skills, talents and abilities. In addition to his mentoring practice, he teaches seminars about BeliefWorks, and applying the age-less wisdom of the Toltecs to life and business, throughout the United States and abroad.
      Besides individual mentoring and business consulting, he trains therapists, managers, healers, educators, consultants and coaches in the BeliefWorks process, helping them offer their clients, employees and students a new tool to reach their greatest potential and maximum effectiveness.
Before becoming an author, Ray had careers as a professional musician, engineer and a corporate executive for a nation-wide facilities company with over one billion dollars in  annual sales. from: http://www.beliefworks.org/ray_dodd.cfm

Books
BeliefWorks: The Art of Living Your Dreams (pb) 
Hampton Roads Publishing Co, 2006.  ISBN-10: 157174472X ;
ISBN-13: 978-1571744722

The Power of Belief: Essential Tools for an Extraordinary Life (pb)
Hampton Roads Publishing Company, 2004.  ISBN-10: 1571744045 ;
ISBN-13: 978-1571744043


"What forgiveness teaches us is that it is possible to choose love over fear  and peace over  conflict  regardless of  the  circumstances
 affecting our lives."
   "Peace of mind comes from not wanting to change others."  "To be impatient is to be hooked on the future."-- G. Jampolsky
 Gerald Jampolsky
Gerald Jampolsky
Gerald Jampolsky, M.D. is a psychiatrist, formerly on the faculty of the Univ. of California Medical Center, San Francisco. He is the founder of the Center for Attitudinal Healing in Sausalito, California, and a fellow of the American Psychiatric Association.... Jampolsky's writings have been largely inspired by A Course in Miracles.  He currently lectures and writes with his wife, psychologist Diane Cirincione.
(modified from:  http://www.spiritsite.com/writing/jerjam/  ) See Spiritsite.com




Diane V. Cirincione
Gerald Jampolsky & Diane Cirincione
Dr. Cirincione is a therapist & former postdoctoral clinical researcher at Langley Porter Psychiatric Institute at the Univ. of California, San Francisco. She is an internationally known lecturer / author as well as an entrepreneur with 30 years business experience --corporate as well as her own four companies. She is co-founder with Barbara Marx Hubbard of "The Regenopause Dialogues," revaluing & redefining the stages of women's lives. She serves as Vice-President, Jampolsky Outreach Foundation, ... responding to worldwide requests to introduce and mentor culturally appropriate adaptations of Attitudinal Healing; integrating this innovative, time tested psycho-social-spiritual model into every aspect of daily life. From 1982-1992, Dr. J. Jampolsky's project, "Children As Teachers of Peace," Dr. Cirincione inspired individuals from numerous countries to bridge youth from conflicting countries around the world including Russia, China, and Central America. Authored: Sounds Of The Morning Sun and The Identification of Relationships Between Women Witnessing Spousal Abuse in Childhood and Psychological Symptomatic Distress in Adulthood. Co-author with her husband, Dr. Jampolsky, of Love Is The Answer; Wake-Up Calls; Change Your Mind, Change Your Life; Simple Thoughts That Can Change Your Life; and for children, Me First and the Gimme Gimmes.  (modified from: http://www.worldbusiness.org/view.cfm?ID=672&lname=Cirincione&fname=Diane
See World Business Academy Site)

Books
Forgiveness: The Greatest Healer of All (1999) Beyond Words Publishing 1999. ISBN: 1582700206
Teach Only Love: The Twelve Principles of Attitudinal Healing (org. 2000; 2004 reprt.) Council Oak Books ISBN: 1571781447
Out of Darkness into the Light: A Journey of Inner Healing (pb) Bantam 1990  ISBN: 0553347918
Jampolsky & D. Cirincione, Love is the Answer: Creating Positive Relationships (pb) Bantam,1991. ISBN: 0553352687
Jampolsky, D. Cirincione, Change Your Mind, Change Your Life (pb) Bantam; Rept ed. (1994) ISBN: 0553373196 
Good-Bye to Guilt: Releasing Fear Through Forgiveness (pb) Bantam; Reissue edition 1985 ISBN: 0553345745
Jampolsky, D. Cirincione, Simple Thoughts That Can Change Your Life (pb) Celestial Arts 2001 ISBN: 1587610884
Love Is Letting Go of Fear (pb) Ten Speed Press; 25th Annv edition 2004 ISBN: 1587611961
Shortcuts to God: Finding Peace Quickly Through Practical Spirituality (pb) Ten Speed Press 2000 ISBN: 0890879532


Selections from Forgiveness;
Teach Only Love; Out of Darkness, Into the Light; & Love is the Answer --available at: http://www.spiritsite.com/writing/jerjam/



Audio resources also available...check web-sites
"Healing becomes possible when all parties in a relationship come to see each other as co-creators of the relationship rather than as attacker and victim."--G. Jampolsky
Primary Web SiteCenter for Attitudinal Healing


Common Ground article on Gerald Jampolsky's life story
(published by Conscious Enlightenment)


Jampolsky & Cirincione discuss  No Peace Without Forgiveness and its role in attitudinal healing  --at Institute of Noetic Sciences--Shift in Action
The Twelve Principles of Attitudinal Healing The twelve principles of attitudinal healing were derived from Jampolsky's study of "A Course in Miracles" and his work with children and adults with life-threatening illnesses at The Center for Attitudinal Healing in Tiburon, CA.
 1. The essence of our being is love.     
  2. Health is inner peace.  Healing is letting go of fear.
  3. Giving and receiving are the same.
  4. We can let go of the past and of the future.
  5. Now is the only time there is and each instant is for giving.
  6. We can learn to love ourselves and others by forgiving rather than judging.
  7. We can become love finders rather than fault finders.
  8. We can choose and direct ourselves to be peaceful inside
      regardless of what is happening outside.

  9. We are students and teachers to each other.
10. We can focus on the whole of life rather than the fragments.
11. Since love is eternal, death need not be viewed as fearful.
12. We can always perceive others as either extending love or giving a call for help.
(See Teach Only Love)
See:  Straight From the Heart

Lee Jampolsky             Lee Jampolsky MotivationalWorks.com
(from his site): Dr. Lee Jampolsky has not had what would be described as an easy life. From the turmoil of addiction and loss, to living through and beyond disabilities and chronic health problems, he has grown and found purpose by using what he teaches in his own life. With humor and from the heart, Lee has a unique ability to help people discover and realize their dreams and full potential. ... Dr. Jampolsky is a renowned psychologist; a widely published author, and a highly effective and entertaining presenter. ...Lee continues to touch and motivate people around the globe. His inspirational presentations span the fields of health, business, education, spirituality, and psychology. A recognized leader in psychology and human potential, Dr. Jampolsky has served on the medical staff and faculty of respected hospitals and graduate schools, consulted management and CEO's of businesses of all sizes, and has contributed to the spiritual growth (the development of purpose, integrity, and service) of numerous groups and organizations. His writings and teachings contain a deep understanding, yet have direct practicality. ...Simply put, Lee believes in a successful and balanced life. Thus, you can often find him enjoying his kids, friends, and many animals while playing and laughing as much as possible. Most importantly, Lee strives to come from compassion in all he does.  http://www.drleejampolsky.com/about/
Books
Smile for No Good Reason (pb) Hampton Roads Pub. Co; Reprint ed. 2003  ISBN: 1571744150
Walking Through Walls: Practical Spirituality in an Impractical World (pb)  Celestial Arts 2005 ISBN: 1587612186
Healing the Addictive Mind (pb) Celestial Arts,1991 ISBN: 0890876231
Healing Together: How to Bring Peace into Your Life and the World (hb)  Wiley; 1st ed. 2002. ISBN: 0471236853
Gerald Jampolsky, Lee Jampolsky. Listen to Me: A Book for Women and Men About Father-Son Relationships (pb) Celestial Arts, 1998. ISBN: 0890878501


Articles by Lee at: http://www.miraclecenter.org/lj.shtml
Forgiveness Brings Honesty
How to Overcome Feeling Separate and Helpless: Part One
How to Overcome Feeling Separate and Helpless: Part Two
How to Overcome Feeling Separate and Helpless: Part Three
How to Overcome Feeling Separate and Helpless: Part Four
Basic Truths for Crazy Times
Spiritually Based Communication
The Holy Instant is Every Moment
"The moment you have in your heart this extraordinary thing called love and feel the depth, the delight, the ecstasy of it, you will discover that for you the world is transformed."--Jiddu Krishnamurti
Joseph Chilton Pierce
  Joe Chilton Pierce
Books
The Death of Religion and the Rebirth of Spirit: A Return to the Intelligence of the Heart (hb) Park Street Press, 2007. ISBN-10: 1594771715 ; ISBN-13: 978-1594771712
The Biology of Transcendence: A Blueprint of the Human Spirit, (pb) Park St. Press, 2004. ISBN-10: 1594770166 ; ISBN-13: 978-1594770166  Pearce highlights findings about the mind-consciousness connection, including a major neural/ brain center in the heart. New neurocardiology science explains how cultural constraints and limitations have resulted in widespread apathy, despair, and rage. Contemporary western culture, he argues, tends to harm rather than nurture the best of our biological and spiritual evolutionary characteristics. Using the HeartMath Institute's discoveries, he offers powerful and practical ways to heal our own and others' hearts, to enhance our lives, by overriding our survival-only strategies and working from a heart-brain intelligence.
The Crack in the Cosmic Egg: New Constructs of Mind and Reality. ISBN: 0-89281-994-4  Park Street Press. Rev Ed., 2002. ISBN-10: 0892819944 ; ISBN-13: 978-0892819942
Evolution's End: Claiming the Potential of Our Intelligence (pb) HarperOne; 1st ed 1993; ISBN-10: 006250732X ; ISBN-13: 978-0062507327 
Magical Child, 1997. Bantam Books; (pb) Plume, 1992. ISBN-10: 0452267897 ; ISBN-13: 978-0452267893
Right from birth the child has only one concern-- to learn all there is to learn about the world. In the West we tend to thwart this concern from the very start. Challenging almost every notion about child-rearing, he shows how we can raise children capable of learning everything -by rediscovering the astonishing capacity for creative intelligence built into human genes.
From Magical Child to Magical Teen: A Guide to Adolescent Development.(pb) Park St. Press; 2nd ed, 2003. ISBN-10: 0892819960 ;
ISBN-13: 978-0892819966

Magical Parent, Magical Child: The Art of Joyful Parenting , 2004.  with Michael Mendizza. North Atlantic Books ISBN: 1556434979  
Spiritual Initiation and the Breakthrough of Consciousness: The Bond of Power. (pb)  Park St. Press. 2003.  ISBN-10: 0892819952;
ISBN-13: 978-0892819959

Primary Web Site:  Touch the Future This site focuses largely on conscious parenting--the importance of loving relationships--it primarily features the work of Michael Mendizza (but Joseph Pierce as well).
Interview:  Waking Up To The Holographic Heart--Starting
Over With Education
Pierce's critique of the traditional educational system.
Paul Pearsall             1942-2007
Paul PearsallPaul Pearsall Web Site
About
Paul Ka’ikena Pearsall, PhD
Dr. Pearsall was one of the most requested speakers in the world, having given over 6000 keynote addresses to groups including IBM, AT&T, Sprint, Volvo Corporation, Prudential Financial, the American Academy of Surgeons, The Academy of Cardiologists, Cleveland Clinic’s Heart/Mind Institute, The 9th District Judges of the United States, the American Psychological Association, the Million Dollar Round Table, the 50 Governors of the United States, the United States Army War College, and at sunrise from the steps of the Acropolis for the Young Presidents Organization. Including Hawaiian, he spoke four languages and was often joined by his Hawaiian family to present edu-concerts illustrating the wisdom of ancient Hawaiian psychology and medicine as they relate to modern medical research in healthy balance between working and healthy family life.
Dr. Pearsall wrote 18 best-selling books, all of which have been translated to several languages and many of which were number one on the New York Times list. His most recent book came out in October, 2007, and is titled Awe: The Delights and Dangers of our 11th Emotion.
Dr. Pearsall received numerous awards for his research on the relationship between the brain, heart, and immune system and his ground-breaking research on heart transplant recipients receiving the memories of their donor led to the formation of the Cleveland Clinic’s new Heart/Mind program....He was selected by the Oxford Biographical Society as one of the 1000 most influential scientists of the 20th Century, and is listed in Who’s Who in America and Who’s Who in Medicine and Health Care. He was presented with the Book of the Year Award in medicine in London, England for his book Super Immunity: Master Your Emotions, Improve Your Health. He served on the editorial board for American Psychology On Line and regularly consults to CNN, Dateline, 20/20 and to Fortune Five Hundred Companies.
He had appeared several times on the Oprah Winfrey Show, The Today Show, and Good Morning America. from his web site  http://www.paulpearsall.com/info/about.html

Books
AWE: The Delights and Dangers of Our Eleventh Emotion (hb) HCI, 2007. ISBN-10: 0757305857  ISBN-13: 978-0757305856
The Last Self-help Book You'll Ever Need: Repress Your Anger, Think Negatively, Be a Good Blamer, and Throttle Your Inner Child.  Basic Books, 2005; (pb) New Ed., 2007. ISBN: 0465054870
The Secret to Invincibility (9 CD set)
The Beethoven Factor: The New Positive Psychology of Hardiness, Happiness, Healing, and Hope
Hampton Roads Publishing, 2003. ISBN: 1571743979
Toxic Success: How to Stop Striving and Start Thriving. Makawao, Hawaii: Inner Ocean Publishing, 2002
Miracle in Maui: Let Miracles Happen in Your Life. Makawao, Hawaii: Inner Ocean Publisher, 2001
The Heart's Code: Tapping the Wisdom and Power of Our Heart Energy. NY: Broadway Books, 1998
The Pleasure Prescription: To Love, To Work, To Play, Life in the Balance. Alameda, California: Hunter House Publishers, 1996
Partners in Pleasure:  Sharing Success, Creating Joy, Fulfilling Dreams. . . Together. Alameda, CA: Hunter House Publishers, 2001
Wishing Well: Making Your Every Wish Come True. NY: Hyperion, 2000
Super Immunity : Master Your Emotions and Improve Your Health (pb)

Fawcett Gold Medal, 1988. ISBN-10: 0449133966 ; ISBN-13: 978-0449133965 

Paul Pearsall on "Becoming a Miracle Maker,"  (from soulful living.com--Jan-April 2006) Personal Note: I became aware of Paul Pearsall around 1998 when I picked up his book, The Heart's Code.  It changed my way of seeing the world and introduced me to the work of the HeartMath Institute.  I will miss Paul and his deep contributions to the art of living well and living from the heart. 
Overcoming Toxic Success: An Interview with Paul Pearsall, Ph.D. by Michael Peter Langevin  (Magical Blend --magazine) 


Linda Kavelin PopovLinda Kavelin Popov
The Virtues Project
A Pace of Grace

The Vision of The Virtues Project [tm] is to serve humanity by supporting the moral and spiritual development of people of all cultures, by helping them to remember who they really are and to live by their highest values.
The Mission of The Virtues Project [tm] is to provide empowering strategies that inspire the practice of virtues in everyday life through programs of excellence and simplicity which support people of all ages to cultivate their virtues -- the gifts of character.  
from: http://www.virtuesproject.com/index.php 

Books
A Pace of Grace: The Virtues of a Sustainable Life (pb) Plume, 2004. ISBN: 0452285437
The Family Virtues Guide: Simple Ways to Bring Out the Best in Our Children and Ourselves  Plume, 1997. ISBN: 0452278104
The Virtues Project Educator's Guide: Simple Ways to Create a Culture of Character (pb) Jalmar Press, 2000.  ISBN: 188039684X
Sacred Moments: Daily Meditations on the Virtues  (pb) Plume Books; Reissue ed., 1997. ISBN: 0452278112
"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are." --John Wooden, college basketball coach
 Riane Eilser
Riane EislerRiane Eilser is president of the Center for Partnership Studies and co-founder of the Spiritual Alliance to Stop Intimate Violence.









Spiritual Alliance to Stop Intimate Violence
Center for Partnership Studies
Books
The Chalice and The Blade: Our History, Our Future. Harper San Francisco.1987 ISBN: 0-06-250289-1
The Power of Partnership: Seven Relationships That Will Change Your Life, New World Library, 2002 (won the Nautilus Award in 2003). ISBN: 1-57731-408-5
Tomorrow's Children: A Blueprint for Partnership Education in the 21st Century, Westview Press/HarperCollins, 2000. ISBN: 0-8133-9040-0
Sacred Pleasure: Sex, Myth and the Politics of the Body. Harper SanFrancisco/ HarperCollins 1996, ISBN: 0-06-250283-2
Riane Eisler, David Loye, and Kari Norgaard, Women, Men, and the Global Quality of Life. The Center for Partnership Studies, 1995.
The Gate: A Memoir of Love and Reflection, iUniverse.com, Inc., 2000. ISBN: 0-595-00185-8
Riane Eisler & David Loye.The Partnership Way: New Tools for Living and Learning, Holistic Education Press/Great-ideas.org 1990 ISBN:  0-9627232-9-0 
Education for a Culture of Peace: Human Possibilities, The Center for Partnership Studies (28-page booklet)


David Loye
David Loye, Ph.D.The Darwin Project
Loye's Page (at The Darwin Project)
David Loye is a noted social psychologist, evolution theorist, systems scientist, and is co-founder with Erwin Laszlo of The General Evolution Research Group. He
is the founder and initiating developer and facilitator of The Darwin Project and the Great Adventure distance-learning and theory-building programs.  With his wife and partner, the cultural evolution theorist and well-known author of The Chalice and the Blade and Tomorrow’s Children, Riane Eisler, Loye was a co-founder of The Center for Partnership Studies. The Darwin Project was originally launched and initially funded by the Center as an extension of the Center’s program for improving education in the U.S. and globally. 
See Loye's Bio

 Books
Darwin's Lost Theory of Love: A Healing Vision for the New Century Writers Club Press, 2000. ISBN: 0-5950-0131-9
An Arrow Through Chaos Park Street Press, 2000.
The Great Adventure: Toward a Fully Human Theory of Evolution SUNY Press, 2004. (Editor) ISBN: 0791459241
The Healing of a Nation, Norton, 1971; Delta, 1972; iUniverse, 1998.
The Leadership Passion: A Psychology of Ideology, Jossey-Bass, 1977; iUniverse, 1998.

The Knowable Future: A Psychology of Forecasting and Prophecy Wiley, 1978; iUniverse, 1998.

The Sphinx and the Rainbow: Brain, Mind, and Future Vision. Shambhala New Science Library, 1982; Bantam Books, 1984; iUniverse, 1998.

Editor, The Evolutionary Outrider: The Impact of the Human Agent on Evolution. Adamantine, Praeger, 1998
.
co-author with Riane Eisler,
The Partnership Way Harper San Francisco, 1990; Holistic Education Press, 1998.
About Loye & "Darwin's Lost Theory of Love"
Is there another side to Charles Darwin that we've never learned about? When we think of the 19th century naturalist and author of The Origin of the Species, we easily identify him with his landmark theory of "natural selection," which forever changed humankind's view of itself, and shaped the economic, political and educational systems, which today, have an enormous hold on society. Yet, systems scientist and evolutionary theorist, David Loye argues that Darwin was misunderstood and misinterpreted. After years of research, and rigorous examination of over 200 books written by and about Darwin during the 20th century, Loye discovered two things: less than a dozen people understood what Darwin was writing about; and Darwin spoke far more about love than he did about selfishness and the survival of the fittest. He contends that "natural selection" was only the first half of Darwin's theory, and the completing half was what he calls the "love system." In Loye's uphill battle to publish his findings on the "lost theory of love," he was stunned by the extent to which society is enslaved by the "natural selection/dominator paradigm." "The bias is against love. It's the same mechanism that tried to kill off Jesus and Buddha. You can't go to war if you have a people imbued with the idea of love…"
from: NewDimensions.org   "Beyond Survival" --available for purchase in Audio Cassette, CD or MP3 download

Excerpts of Loye's book on Darwin at: iUniverse (Online Books)






Cherie Carter-Scott
Cherie Carter-Scott
Cherie’s main site
Other sites:  http://www.negaholics.com/
& http://www.themms.com/

About Cherie:
Dr. Carter-Scott received her Ph.D. in Human & Organizational Development with an emphasis on The Relationship Between Employee Satisfaction & Customer Satisfaction. She has designed 23 courses on Powerpoint for professional and personal growth. Chérie's special gift is to turn negative attitudes into positive behaviors. She is known for motivating individuals to take charge of their lives and to make the seemingly impossible happen. She is hired by Fortune 500 companies, associations, family-owned businesses and entrepreneurs as a facilitator, coach and has been called a guardian angel to CEOs. It has been said, “There is no one better in her field than Cherie!” Dr. Carter-Scott is a master facilitator working directly with executive and management departments on vision, goals, and their mission statements for the realization of the company.  ...   She has appeared on Oprah, Leeza, Regis & Kathie Lee, CNN and over 300 radio talk shows. She has presented her seminars, workshops and keynotes speeches in 15 countries on three continents and her tapes, speeches and books have touched the lives of millions worldwide. She hosted her own 26-week talk show on cable T.V., was instrumental in changing US immigration policy, ran her company with 30 employees, traveled extensively, attended graduate school, and wrote two of her four books while being a single parent.   ... Her New York Times #1 Best Selling book, If Life is a Game, These are the Rules: Ten Rules for Being Human was published 1998. Following an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show, Chérie’s book sold over 600,000 copies in its first six weeks, selling out every major U.S. book seller. Soon after, she adapted the 10 Rules into a teaching course and colleges around the nation now use If Life is a Game as a text for their orientation programs. ... Chérie regularly promotes her books on national and global tours with appearances on programs, such as Oprah, Regis, CNN, The Today Show, Jenny Jones, Sally Jessy Raphael, Leeza, The Other Half, Montel, and Politically Incorrect and over 300 other television and radio talk shows. - modified from: 
http://www.sbsb.net/Speakers/CherieCarterScott.html
See: Mindful Choices by Cherie Carter-Scott (pdf file)

Books
If Life Is a Game, These Are the Rules (hb) Broadway, 1998. ISBN: 0767902386
If Success Is a Game, These Are the Rules: Ten Rules for a Fulfilling Life (hb) Broadway; 1st ed., 2000.  ISBN: 0767904265
If High School Is a Game, Here's How to Break the Rules: A Cutting Edge Guide to Becoming Yourself (hb) Delacorte Books for Young Readers, 2001.  ISBN: 038532796X
The Gift of Motherhood: 10 Truths for Every Mother (hb) Broadway; 1st ed., 2002. ISBN: 0767904281
If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules: 10 Rules for Finding Love and Creating Long-Lasting, Authentic Relationships Broadway; 1st ed., 1999. (hb)  ISBN: 0767904249
Negaholics: How to Overcome Negativity and Turn Your Life Around Wellspring/Ballantine, 1999. (pb) ISBN: 034543899X
If Life Is a Game...These Are The Stories: True Stories by Real People Around the World About Being Human Andrews McMeel Publishing, 2004. (hb) ISBN: 0740746847
Cherie C-S, et al., Ordinary Women...Extraordinary Success: Everything You Need to Excel, From America's Top Women Motivators Career Press, 2003. (pb) ISBN: 1564147010




Note: for something different, contrast Dr. Carter-Scott's Ten Rules
with Terrabyte's 12 Rules of Life
    http://www.scribd.com/doc/230945/TerraBytes-12-Rules-of-Life?query2=%2212+rules+of+life%22
Various summaries of The Ten Rules of Life (for Being Human) from
If Life is a Game are available--
See: 

http://www.bluinc.com/free/human10.htm
http://www.businessballs.com/rulesoflife.htm
http://www.skysite.org/rules.html
http://www.yourbusinesscoach.net/rules-for-being-human.html
http://www.bestsum.com/bestsum_iflifeisa.php


Wayne Dyer
Wayne Dyer, Ph.D. Wayne W. Dyer’s Site


"When you change the way you
look at things
the things you look at change."
--Wayne W. Dyer



Books & Resources
Change Your Thoughts - Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao (hb) Hay House, 2007.ISBN-10: 1401911846  ISBN-13: 978-1401911843
Being In Balance: 9 Principles for Creating Habits to Match Your Desires (hb)
Hay House, 1st ed. 2006.
ISBN-10:1401910386 ISBN-13: 978-1401910389
Inspiration: Your Ultimate Calling (hb) Hay House, 2006. ISBN:1401907210 
The Power of Intention:
Learning to Co-create Your World Your Way (hb) Hay House, 2004. ISBN: 1401902154
Everyday Wisdom for Success (pb) Hay House, 2006 ISBN 1-4019-0552-8
Everyday Wisdom (pb) Hay House, 2005. ISBN: 1401905056
Wayne W. Dyer, Kristina Tracy, Incredible You! 10 Ways to Be Happy Inside and Out (hb) Ages 4-8, 32 pages, Hay House 2005.  ISBN: 1401907822
What Do You Really Want for Your Children? (pb) Harper Paperbacks, 2001. ISBN: 0380730472
Getting in the Gap: Making Conscious Contact with God Through Meditation (Book with CD) (hb) Hay House; Bk&CD-Rom ed., 2002. ISBN 140190131X
10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace (hb) Hay House, 2002. 
ISBN-10: 1561708755   ISBN-13: 978-1561708758
A Promise Is A Promise
(pb) Hay House, 2001. ISBN: 1561708720
There's a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem
(hb; also avail in pb) HarperCollins; 1st ed, 2001. ISBN: 0060192305
Pulling Your Own Strings: Dynamic Techniques for Dealing with Other People and Living Your Life as You Choose (pb) HarperTorch; Reprint ed., 1994. ISBN: 006109224X
Manifest Your Destiny: The Nine Spiritual Principles for Getting Everything You Want HarperTorch; Reprint ed.1999. ISBN: 0061094943 
Your Sacred Self: Making the Decision to Be Free (pb).  Harper Paperbacks, 2001. ISBN: 0060935839
Staying on the Path (pb) Hay House,1995. ISBN: 1561701262
Your Erroneous Zones: Step-by-Step Advice for Escaping the Trap of Negative Thinking and Taking Control of Your Life (pb) Harper Paperbacks; 1st HarperPerennial ed, 1991.  ISBN: 0060919760
Real Magic: Creating Miracles in Everyday Life (pb) HarperTorch, 1993. ISBN: 0061091502
You'll See It When You Believe It: The Way to Your Personal Transformation (pb) Harper Paperbacks; 1st ed., 2001. ISBN: 0060937335
Dr. Wayne Dyer - How to Get What You Really Really Want / Improve Your Life Using the Wisdom of the Ages (DVD: 2000 160 minutes) 
& various audio CD resources—see site


Virginia Satir   (1916-1988)
Virginia Satir
Avanta—The Virginia Satir Network


Wikipedia site on Virginia Satir (about)

Family Therapy (profiles)—on Virginia Satir (about)


"I believe the greatest gift I can conceive of having from anyone is to be seen, heard, understood and touched by them. The greatest gift I can give is to see, hear, understand and touch another person. When this is done, I feel contact has been made." --Virginia Satir
Books
Self Esteem. Berkely, CA: Celestial Arts. (1975). ISBN 1-58761-094-9. 
Making Contact. Berkely, CA: Celestial Arts.(1976). ISBN  0-89087-119-1. 
Bandler, R., Grinder, J., & Satir, V. Changing with Families: a book about further education for being human. Palo Alto, CA: Science & Behavior Books. (1976) ISBN 0-8314-0051-X. 
Your Many Faces. Berkely, CA: Celestial Arts.(1978). ISBN 0-89087-120-5. 
Satir, V. , Stachowiak, J. &  Taschman, H. A. (1982). Helping Families Change. New York, NY: Jason Aronson. ISBN 1-56821-227-5. 
Conjoint Family Therapy.
Palo Alto, CA: Science and Behavior Books.(1983). ISBN 0-8314-0063-3. 
Satir, V.,  & Baldwin
, M.  Satir Step by Step: A Guide to Creating Change in Families. Palo Alto, CA: Science and Behavior Books.(1984). ISBN 0-8314-0068-4. 
New Peoplemaking.
Palo Alto, CA: Science and Behavior Books. (1988). ISBN 0-8314-0070-6. 
Peoplemaking.
London, UK:Souvenir Press.(1990). ISBN 0-89087-119-1. 
Satir, V., Banmen J.,  Gerber, J & Gomori, M  Satir Model: Family Therapy and Beyond.
Palo Alto, CA: Science and Behavior Books. (1991).ISBN 0-8314-0078-1.


Margaret Wheatley
Margaret Wheatley

The Berkana Institute (See below)

Turning to One Another (See below)

From the Four Directions (See below)
Books
Finding Our Way: Leadership for an Uncertain Time (hb) Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2005. ISBN: 1576753174
Turning to One Another: Simple Conversations to Restore Hope to the Future (pb)
Berrett-Koehler Publishers;1st ed.,, 2002. ISBN: 1576751457
Leadership and the New Science: Discovering Order in a Chaotic World Revised (pb)
Berrett-Koehler Publishers; 1st ed., 2001. ISBN: 1576751198
Margaret J. Wheatley & Myron Kellner-Rogers, A Simpler Way (pb)
Berrett-Koehler Publishers; New Ed, 1998. ISBN: 1576750507
Leadership and the New Science: Learning About Organization from an Orderly Universe (pb)
Berrett-Koehler Publishers; Reprint edi., 1994. ISBN: 1881052443
Margaret Wheatley, Robert Tannenbaum, Paula Yardley Griffin, Kristine Quade, Organization Development at Work: Conversations on the Values, Applications, and Future of OD (J-B O-D (Organizational Development)) (pb)
Pfeiffer, 2003. ISBN: 078796963X
Warren G. Bennis, James Kouzes, Margaret Wheatley, Off the Chart Results for Organizational Development (pb) Insight Pub Co. 2003.
ISBN: 1885640935
Don Maruska, Margaret J. Wheatley, How Great Decisions Get Made: 10 Easy Steps for Reaching Agreement on Even the Toughest Issues (hb) American Management Association, 2003. ISBN: 0814407935 ; (pb:  AMACOM, 2006. ISBN: 0814473989
The Berkana Institute

Welcome to The Berkana Institute. We are a worldwide community of people who recognize the need for change in our communities, organizations and nations. We are offering our leadership to help resolve our most pressing local problems.
We define a leader as anyone who wants to help, who is willing to step forward to make a difference in the world. We know that the world is blessed with an abundance of these leaders.
The Berkana Exchange connects pioneering leaders throughout the globe around their shared commitment to making a difference in and beyond their communities. These leaders are developing the capacity to solve their most pressing problems—such as community health, ecological sustainability and economic self-reliance—by acting locally, connecting regionally and learning globally.
A Learning Journey is an opportunity to discover the new forms of leadership emerging beyond our own communities. We believe the rest of the world has something essential and important to teach us about leadership. Margaret Wheatley and local pioneering leaders host groups of up to 20 people for these two-week trips.
From the Four Directions invites people everywhere to explore their commitment to lead and lend one another support for courageous action. We support the creation of local conversation groups and develop people’s capacity as hosts through Art of Hosting workshops.
--from web site
From the Four Directions

We know this to be a fragile and powerful moment
           
for our planet
            
when we must consciously choose
                                      our future direction.





From the Four Directions began in late 2000. It is a global leadership initiative of the Berkana Institute, an organization founded by Dr. Margaret Wheatley, author of Leadership and the New Science (Berrett-Koehler, 1999) the Turning to One Another (Berrett-Koehler, 2002). 
From the Four Directions serves the vision of Berkana -- a world where people experience themselves as whole, healthy, sacred and free. The particular way in which From the Four Directions accomplishes this is through creating and supporting local, on-going leadership circles focused on life-affirming leadership.
  • We define a leader as anyone who wants to help at this time, who sees things that need to be changed in their local community.

  • We work around the globe to organize local conversation circles among citizen leaders so that they might name their hopes and challenges, learn from colleagues, and act courageously to move their hopes into reality.

  • We provide technical expertise, coaching, networking and resources for people to start circles and ensure their success.

  • We connect local circles to one another to weave a global network that can emerge as a global force for change.

Our circles provide support and clarity for individuals to step forward as leaders on behalf of those issues that most concern them.--from web site
Turning to One Another
"I believe we can change the world if we start listening to one another again. Simple, honest, human conversation. Not mediation, negotiation, problem solving, debate, or public meetings. Simple, truthful conversation where we each feel heard, and we each listen well. This is how great changes begin, when people begin talking to each other about their experiences, hopes, and fears.
What would it feel like to be listening to each other again about our yearnings, our fears, our prayers, our children?"--from: Turning to One Another: Simple Conversations to Restore Hope to the Future
This web site has two main purposes:
To provide you with resources and processes for hosting good conversations. We provide these resources to encourage you to begin hosting conversations, or to strengthen the conversations you've already begun.

To highlight the many places and initiatives that are using conversation as part of their work. There are so many conversation-based projects underway around the world that it's difficult to keep this list updated! And it is by no means complete. We wanted you to know that there is a world in conversation, and that there are many people who have already pioneered the way. As you begin your own conversations, you are not alone, but part of a growing global community using conversations in their work and lives.--from web site


 Moment & Web of Love
 
Web sites:  http://www.momentoflove.org/
                    http://www.weboflove.org/
General resources--essays, poems, stories, videos to help in connecting to the heart and developing the capacity for love.  Contains a "spiritual" focus--read with discernment--for what works for you or not. 
 


"Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted is the most terrible poverty."--Mother Theresa
Relationship Help, LOVE (& Gender Issues)


"Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets."--Paul Tournier
"Our willingness to connect with others determines the quality of our lives."--May Sarton
John Amodeo
John AmodeoJohn Amodeo's Site
About John:  Dr. Amodeo holds graduate degrees in both Clinical and Transpersonal Psychology. He has been a psychotherapist for twenty-five years, with offices in San Francisco, San Rafael, and the Sebastopol area. A former writer and contributing editor for Yoga Journal for ten years, Dr. Amodeo has spoken throughout the country on love and relationships, and has been featured on national television and radio programs that include CNN, CNBC, Donahue, New Dimensions Radio, and NPR stations. He has been interviewed or written for publications that include The Chicago Tribune, The Dallas Morning News, The San Jose Mercury News, The Rocky Mountain News and The Toronto Sun.
He has led workshops at centers such as Esalen Institute, The Omega Institute, and The New York Open Center. He is an adjunct faculty member of the Institute of Imaginal Studies, a graduate psychology program (to learn more about IIS, visit: www.imaginal.edu). Dr. Amodeo has trained in Somatic Experiencing, developed by Dr. Peter Levine for dealing with trauma, and is also a Certified Focusing Trainer and Coordinator of the Focusing/Buddhism interface for the Focusing Institute. To learn more about Focusing-Oriented Therapy, please visit: www.focusingtherapy.org. To learn more about focusing, please visit: www.focusing.org.
from: http://www.johnamodeo.com/aboutmetherapy.html
Books
The Authentic Heart: An Eightfold Path to Midlife Love (pb) NY: John Wiley & Sons, 2001. ISBN: 0471387576
Love and Betrayal. (pb) Ballantine Books; 1st ed.,1994. ISBN: 0345378563
Being Intimate: A Guide to Successful Relationships (co-authored with Kris Amodeo) Arkana; New Ed.,1986. ISBN: 0140190074
See John's article, "Authenticity: The Key to Transformation," (at Shareguide : The Holistic Health Magazine & Resource Directory)
Tools for Relationships
from James J. & Constance M. Messina's web site...much useful material here!
 Greg Baer, M.D.
Greg Baer, M.D.
                               
   Real Love
  

 
"With Real Love,
  nothing else matters;

  without it, nothing
  else is enough."

Books
REAL LOVE: The Truth About Finding Unconditional Love and Fulfilling Relationships
The Real Love Companion
Real Love in Dating
Real Love in Marriage
Real Love in Parenting
Real Love for Wise Men and Women
The Essentials of Real Love Workbook
Real Love in the Workplace: Eight Principles for Consistently Effective Leadership in Business
(pb) Blue Ridge Press; 1st ed. 2007.
ISBN-10: 1892319241 ; ISBN-13: 978-1892319241

       & CDs, DVDs; other resources
Articles by Greg Baer at IloveUlove.com
"In order to be happy, what we all want more than anything else is to feel loved... We need Real Love— unconditional love. It's Real Love when other people care about our happiness without any concern for themselves. When we make our foolish mistakes, when we don't do what they want, or even when we inconvenience them personally, they're not disappointed or angry."
"If love is real, it will be evident in our daily lives, in the many ways we show we care."--Thich Nhat Hanh
Leo Buscaglia Leo Buscaglia
March 31, 1924 --June 12, 1998










"The easiest thing to be in the world is you. The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don't let them put you in that position." --Leo 
Books
Leo Buscaglia's Love Cookbook with Biba Caggiano (1994)
The Disabled & Their Parents: A Counseling Challenge (1994)
Born for Love: Reflections on Loving (1992)
Papa, My Father: A Celebration of Dads (1989)
A Memory for Tino  (1988)
Personhood: The Art of Being Fully Human (1986) 
ISBN:4990199804

Seven Stories of Christmas Love (1987)
Bus 9 to Paradise (1986) 
ISBN 0-943432-67-7
Loving Each Other (1984) ISBN 0-943432-27-8
Living Loving and Learning (1982) ISBN 0-913590-88-6
The Fall of Freddie the Leaf (1982) ISBN 0-943432-89-8
Way of the Bull: A Voyage (1973) ISBN 0-913590-08-8
Love: What Life is All About (1972)
Because I Am Human (1972) ISBN 0-913590-06-1
The World of Leo Buscaglia

In Memory of Leo Buscaglia

"Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time . . . It tell us to tell each other right now that we love each other" -Leo Buscaglia

"Perhaps the fact of life most conducive to living fully as a person is an honest awareness and acceptance of death.  When we can embrace death as simply another aspect of the life cycle, we will give appreciation and value to each life encounter knowing that it will never occur again." -Leo Buscaglia

“When we seek for connection, we restore the world to wholeness.  Our seemingly separate lives become meaningful as we discover how truly necessary we are to each other.”--Margaret Wheatley


John Gottman              Julie Gottman
John Gottman, Ph.D.Julie Gottman

The Gottman Institute 
The Relationship Research Institute  (at the Gottman Institute)

The Gottman Institute, co-founded by Drs. John and Julie Schwartz Gottman, has two major functions. The Institute helps couples directly, and it provides state-of-the-art training to mental health professionals and other health care providers. The Gottman Institute applies leading-edge research on marriage in a practical, down-to-earth therapy and trains therapists committed to helping couples. No other approach to couples education and therapy has relied on such intensive, detailed, and long-term scientific study of why marriages succeed or fail. (from Gottman Institute website)

Books
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (1999)
The Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically-Based Marital Therapy (1999)
When Men Batter Women: New Insights into Ending Abusive Relationships (1998)
The Heart of Parenting: How to Raise an Emotionally Intelligent Child (1997)
Meta-Emotion: How Families Communicate Emotionally (1997)
Why Marriages Succeed or Fail: And How You Can Make Yours Last (1994)
What Predicts Divorce: The Measures (1994)





Psychotherapy.net  An Interview with Gottman  (With Randall C. Wyatt, PhD)
Material about John Gottman (on AnnOnline)

Kathlyn & Gay Hendricks
Kathlyn & Gay Hendricks 
   
The Hendricks Institute
Books
Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment: A Way to Be Fully Together Without Giving Up Yourself
Conscious Living: Finding Joy in the Real World
The Conscious Heart: Seven Soul-Choices That Inspire Creative Partnership
Conscious Breathing: Breathwork for Health, Stress Release, and Personal Mastery
A Year of Living Consciously 365 Daily Inspirations for Creating a Life of Passion and Purpose
Lasting Love
: The 5 Secrets of Growing a Vital, Conscious Relationship
Learning to Love Yourself: A Guide to Becoming Centered
Spirit-Centered Relationships
: Experiencing Greater Love and Harmony Through the Power of Presencing
The Breathing Box: Experience the Healing Power of Breath with This Complete Four-Week Program
"The void created by the failure to communicate is soon filled with poison, drivel, and misrepresentation." --C. Northcote Parkinson
Human Awareness Institute Human Awareness Institute  (Stan Dale)--Love, Intimacy, Sexuality)
"To accept people as they are is to encourage them to be better than they are."--Carl Rogers
Bill Ferguson
Bill FergusonBill Ferguson—Mastery of Life
As a former divorce attorney, Bill Ferguson gained national attention for his ability to take the conflict out of divorce. Fifteen percent of his clients never divorced, and the ones who did were able to part as friends. The Houston Post affectionately called him "The Love Counselor."  ... In 1985, he closed his law practice and devoted his life to showing people how to heal relationships and have their lives work.  ...He has since been recommended by The Wall Street Journal and featured in newspapers, magazines, and on radio and television talk shows across the country, including Oprah. ... His book, How To Heal A Painful Relationship has become a national best seller. If you are in Houston, you can hear him every Friday morning on the city's most popular radio station, Sunny 99.1. (from his web site, masteryoflife.com)
"Relationships Are Incredibly Fragile"--7 tips how to keep them flourishing  (GREAT TIPS!)
How to Divorce as Friends (Ferguson’s other web site)
Books

How To Heal A Painful Relationship: And if Necessary, Part as Friends. (pb) Houston, TX: Return to the Heart, 1999 ISBN: 1878410253

Heal The Hurt That Sabotages Your Life: Be Free of the Inner Issues that Destroy Love and Create Suffering,
(pb). 2nd Ed. Houston, TX: Return to the Heart, 2004, ISBN: 1878410369

& CDs, Audio Tapes--see his web site


Edward Hallowell
Ed Hallowell, M.D.

http://www.drhallowell.com/

The Hallowell Center was founded by Dr. Edward M. Hallowell --it specializes in the treatment of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Worry/Anxiety, and Child Learning Disabilities. He has written on a variety of topics!

Books
Connect: 12 Vital Ties That Open Your Heart, Lengthen Your Life, and Deepen Your Soul (pb) Pocket, 2001 ISBN: 0743406214
Answers to Distraction with John J. Ratey. (pb) Bantam; Bantam Tra ed., 1996. ISBN: 055337821X
Delivered from Distraction: Getting the Most out of Life with Attention Deficit Disorder with John J. Ratey. (hb) Ballantine Books, 2005. ISBN: 034544230X

Driven To Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood Through Adulthood. with John J. Ratey. (pb) Touchstone; Reprint ed., 1995. ISBN: 0684801280
Dare to Forgive: The Power of Letting Go and Moving On Health Communication International, 2004. ISBN: 0757300103
The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness: Five Steps to Help Kids Create and Sustain Lifelong Joy. (pb) Ballantine Books; Reprint ed., 2003. ISBN: 0345442334
Human Moments: How to Find Meaning and Love in Your Everyday Life.
(pb) HCI, 2001. ISBN: 1558749101
Worry
(pb). Ballantine Books; 1st. ed., 1998. ISBN: 0345424581


Helen LaKelly Hunt & Harville Hendrix
Helen LaKelly Hunt & Harville HendrixImago--A New Way to Love
(Getting the Love You Want)
 Imago Therapy

About:  
Dr. Harville Hendrix, and Dr. Helen LaKelly Hunt are co-founders, with other Imago therapists, of Imago Relationships International. Harville, the President of the Imago International Institute, the education division of IRI, is the author of the popularly acclaimed books, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples, and Keeping the Love You Find: A Guide for Singles. In addition, Harville and his wife Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D., who has been his partner in developing Imago Relationship Therapy, and co-creator of the concept of the "concious marriage," co authored The Couples Companion: Meditations and Excercises for Getting the Love You Want and The Personal Companion: Meditations and Exercises for Keeping the Love You Find. They also collaborated on Getting the Love You Want: The Home Video Workshop, for which Harville and Helen were executive editor and executive producer, respectively. This award winning series was introduced and endorsed by Oprah Winfrey when it aired on Public Television.  from:  http://gettingtheloveyouwant.com/aboutus.html

A leading approach to couples communications skills and marriage counseling providing a strong foundation in building relationship skills and relationship mending. Extended definition below right:

Books
Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples Owl Books; Reprint ed., 2001. ISBN: 0805068953
Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Singles
Getting the Love You Want Workbook: The New Couples Study Guide (2003)
Keeping the Love You Find (1993)
The Personal Companion: Meditation & Exercises for Keeping the Love You Find
(1995)
The Couples Companion: Meditation & Exercises for Getting the Love You Want (1994)
Giving the Love that Heals (1998)
The Parenting Companion: Meditation & Exercises for Giving the Love that Heals
Giving the Love that Heals: A Guide for Parents (1998)
Receiving Love: Transforming Your Relationship by Letting Yourself Be Loved (hb) Atria, 2004. ISBN: 0743483693 ; (pb) Atria; Reprint ed., 2005. ISBN: 0743483707

Receiving Love Workbook: A Unique Twelve-Week Course for Couples and Singles (pb) Atria; Workbook ed., 2006.
ISBN: 0743483715
& many CDs/audio-cassettes

Intro to Harville Hendrix (at Ann Online)
Biography of Harville Hendrix  (at Ann Online)
Imago [Image or template of love that begins at birth] Relationship Therapy-- gives couples information and tools to:
* help make unconscious aspects of their relationship conscious
* address conflict at its roots rather than in a surface way
* successfully work at healing and growth
* create emotional safety for each other
* learn how to better meet each other's needs
* transform conflict into opportunities for deeper intimacy and connection
* make small changes with the biggest difference for happiness & fulfillment
* learn how to be a source of pleasure instead of pain for your partner
* make marriage or partnership fulfilling, alive, passionate, fun, transforming source of increasing wholeness and sacred transformation.  --modified from The Relationship Learning Center
"The man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears."--Michel De Montaigne
Susan Jeffers
Susan Jeffers Susan Jeffers Site

Susan Jeffers, Ph.D. has helped millions of people throughout the world overcome their fears, heal their relationships, and move forward in life with confidence and love. ...
As well as being a best-selling author, Susan is a sought-after public speaker and has been a guest on many radio and television shows internationally. She lives with her husband, Mark Shelmerdine, in Los Angeles.
What makes the work of Susan Jeffers stand out? A look at the masses of thank-you letters she receives reveals that her fans--young and old, and from a whole array of life situations--love her humanness, her humor, her willingness to reveal so much of herself, the universality of her message, and the easy-to-understand style of her writing...a winning combination, indeed. They report, "It's as though she is speaking directly to me." The connection is truly felt. And connection is what Susan Jeffers is all about. from her site: http://www.susanjeffers.com/home/bio.cfm

About Susan Jeffers & Dare to Connect
(At In-Touch Magazine.com)
"We have been taught to believe that negative equals realistic and positive equals unrealistic." --Susan Jeffers

Resource: Finding Your Loving Power (exercise)  (pdf file)
Books
Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway (pb) Ballantine Books; Reissue ed., 1988. ISBN: 0449902927
Opening Our Hearts to Men: Learn to Let Go of Anger, Pain, and Loneliness and Create a Love that Works (pb) Ballantine Books; Reissue ed., 1990. ISBN: 0449905136
Feel the Fear...and Beyond: Mastering the Techniques for Doing It Anyway (pb) Ballantine Books; 1st ed., 1998.  ISBN: 0449003612
End the Struggle and Dance With Life : How to Build Yourself Up When the World Gets You Down (pb), St. Martin's Griffin, 1997.  ISBN: 0312155220
Inner Talk for Peace of Mind, (pb) ("Fear-Less" Series/145) Hay House,1992. ISBN: 1561700495
Inner Talk for A Confident Day ("Fear-Less" Series) AUDIOBOOK. Jeffers Press, 2006. ISBN: 0974577634
Inner Talk for a Love That Works ("Fear-Less" Series/146) (Pb) Hay House,1992. ISBN: 1561700509
The Feel the Fear Guide to Lasting Love (hb) Jeffers Press, 2005. ISBN: 0974577693
The Art of Fearbusting (Audio CD) Jeffers Press, 2005. ISBN: 0974577626
Life Is Huge!: Laughing, Loving And Learning From It All (The Wit & Wisdom of Susan Jeffers) (pb) Jeffers Press, 2005. ISBN: 0974577677
Dare to Connect: Reaching Out in Romance, Friendship, and the Workplace (pb) Ballantine Books, 1993. ISBN: 0449905438
Embracing Uncertainty: Breakthrough Methods for Achieving Peace of Mind When Facing the Unknown (pb) St. Martin's Griffin; Reprint ed., 2004. ISBN: 0312325835
The Little Book of Confidence (pb) Jeffers Press, 2005. ISBN: 0974577642
The Little Book of Peace of Mind (pb) Jeffers Press, 2005. ISBN: 0974577650
Overcoming Fear (by Susan Jeffers)
If you had absolutely nothing to fear, what would you do with your life? Would you finally go back to school? Take up skydiving? Enroll in the Miss America pageant? Go after David Letterman's job? Most of us have dreams we'd like to pursue, but "something" always stops us, namely vague fears and worries. We keep waiting for the fear to dissipate before we'll pursue our goal. The irony is that fear doesn't go away.... until you do the very thing you fear.
What is fear? Very simply, it's a lack of faith in your ability to handle whatever life throws your way. If you tell yourself (and believe it) that you're capable of dealing with any situation that arises, you'll be better equipped to tackle your dream. Here are a few things to remember:

1.  Fear never goes away as long as you're growing as a human being. If you've conquered every one of your fears, congratulations -- you're dead.
2.  The only way to get rid of fear is to do something about it.
3.  You're not the only person who feels insecure when on unfamiliar turf; everyone does. But the achievers in life push past their fears.
4.  Facing your fear is far less frightening than always living with a sense of helplessness.
Source: Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway! Susan Jeffers, Fawcett Press 1987, at: http://www.coloringtherapy.com/overcoming_fear.htm



Rhonda Britten
Fearless Living Institute
Rhonda has been called "America's Favorite Life Coach" and named "the most valuable player" on Starting Over by The New York Times. She is seen as a leader in the human-potential movement and has appeared on The Early Show, The O'Reilly Factor, The Montel Williams Show, and on radio programs worldwide. She has also been profiled in dozens of international magazines and newspapers. ... Rhonda's passion for overcoming emotional fears was born of personal tragedy. She became an orphan at fourteen, when she was the only witness to her parents' murder-suicide. In overcoming the legacy of this terrifying life stopping experience, Rhonda developed the principles and resources that she would later use to heal herself and so many others. ...Today, Rhonda continues to work as a life coach, and her Fearless Living Institute provides dedicated support, an industry-leading life coach training program, and intensive workshops and presentations for corporations. Her past corporate clients include Southwest Airlines, Blue Shield, Toyota, and Northrop Grumman.
from: http://www.fearlessliving.org/about_us/about_rhonda_britten
Books/Resources
Fearless Living: Live Without Excuses and Love Without Regret (pb) Perigee Trade; Reprint ed., 2002 ISBN: 0399527532
Fearless Loving: 8 Simple Truths That Will Change the Way You Date, Mate, and Relate
Perigee Trade; Reprint ed., 2003. ISBN: 039952942X
Do I Look Fat in This?: Get Over Your Body and On With Your Life Dutton Adult, 2006. ISBN: 0525949453
Change Your Life in 30 Days (Audio CD) Highbridge Audio; Unabridged ed., 2004. ISBN: 1565118847
See interview with Britten--"Fearlessly Working Wonders" by Annie Zalezsak
(at VibrantUniverse.com)

Diane Conway
Diane ConwayDiane Conway's Site
See Conway's "The Fairy Godmother's Guide"

"What would you do [if you had no fear]?"
"Who would you be [if you had no fear]?"
"Where would you go [if you had no fear]?"
          [Good questions to consider!]
Books
What Would You Do If You Had No Fear? Living Your Dreams While Quakin' in Your Boots Inner Ocean Publishing, 2004. ISBN: 1930722427
What Would You Do for Love If You Had No Fear: Loving Without Losing Your Mind (pb) Inner Ocean Publishing, 2006. ISBN:1930722656
 


Kelly E. Johnson
Kelly E. Johnson, M.D.
Kelly E. Johnson, M.D., ... is a nationally recognized psychiatrist and relationship therapist. He has extensive media experience, having appeared regularly on television shows such as The Jenny Jones Show and Montel as their “relationship expert.” Kelly’s radio show has been based in Chicago for the past decade and is geared toward helping people solve their most difficult relationship, health, and emotional problems. In addition to winning many broadcast awards, this show has consistently been rated the number-one radio talk show in the area. Since receiving his degree in psychiatry from Northwestern University, Dr. Johnson has maintained a private consultation practice. He lives with his wife, Betsy, and their two dogs in Chicago.
from: http://www.hayhouse.com/authorbio.php?id=135
Books
A Relationship for a Lifetime: Everything You Need to Know to Create a Love That Lasts (pb)  Hay House,  2001. ISBN: 1561708097
The Relationship Problem Solver For Love, Marriage and Dating (pb) Hay House, 2003. ISBN: 1401901263


Harriet Lerner
Harriet Lerner
Harriet Lerner Ph.D.,Clinical Psychologist/Author
Books
The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships (pb) Harper; Reprint ed., 2005. ISBN: 006074104X
The Dance of Fear: Rising Above Anxiety, Fear, and Shame to Be Your Best and Bravest Self
(pb) Harper; Reprint ed., 2005. ISBN: 0060081589
Fear and Other Uninvited Guests: Tackling the Anxiety, Fear, and Shame That Keep Us from Optimal Living and Loving
(hb) HarperCollins, 2004. ISBN: 0060081570
The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate (pb) Harper; Reprint ed., 2002. ISBN: 006095616X
The Dance of Intimacy: A Woman's Guide to Courageous Acts of Change in Key Relationships
(pb) Harper; Reprint ed., 1990. ISBN: 006091646X
The Dance of Deception: A Guide to Authenticity and Truth-Telling in Women's Relationships 
(pb) Harper; Reprint ed., 1994. ISBN: 0060924632
Life Preservers: Good Advice When You Need It Most
(pb) Harper, 1997. ISBN: 0060928352
The Mother Dance: How Children Change Your Life (pb) Harper Paperbacks, 1999. ISBN: 006093025X
Brief summary of The Dance of Connection (at Thinkingpeace.com)

"The challenge in conversation is not just to be our self but to choose the self we want to be. What we call "the self" is never static, but instead is a work in progress. That's why we don't discover who we are by sitting alone on a mountaintop and meditating, or by being introspective and "going deeper," as valuable as these disciplines may be. The royal road for both discovering and reinventing the self is through our relationships with other people and the conversations we engage in."--Harriet Lerner, The Dance of Connection

Stephen & Ondrea Levine
Ondrea & Stephen Levine
Stephen & Ondrea speak and write on spirituality, relationships, & issues of death and dying. In addition to  working with the terminally ill, Stephen Levine is also an accomplished poet. Stephen and Ondrea Levine have counselled terminally ill people and their families for over thirty years. --modified from http://www.questthejourney.com/.../ Levine.htm
Books
Embracing the Beloved: Relationship as a Path of Awakening
Who Dies? : An Investigation of Conscious Living and Conscious Dying
A Gradual Awakening
Turning Toward the Mystery: A Seeker's Journey
Guided Meditations, Explorations and Healings
A Year to Live: How to Live This Year as If It Were Your Last
Unattended Sorrow: Recovering from Loss and Reviving the Heart
Selections from Embracing the Beloved (at Spiritsite.com)
What We Can Learn From the Dying  (interview with Stephen Levine)
"For most of the people we've worked with, the diagnosis of a fatal disease comes as a frightening experience. One of their most frequent comments is: "I feel like I've wasted my life." So much of who they are has been held back. So much of their precious time was spent running away from their fears, waiting for the future, or remembering the past.

So little of their lives was spent actually living. Although they've been alive 40, 60 or 80 years, it suddenly feels to them as if they've hardly lived at all. They've been so buy striving for security and trying to live up to one ideal or another that they forgot to taste and savor the texture of their lives. They were so busy making a home, building their career, becoming solid citizens, that they forgot to live."

       
"The dying teach us that the real tragedy is not the loss of possessions, not even the loss of loved ones. The real tragedy is losing our connection with humanness, with compassion, with kindness, with forgiveness -- for ourselves and those about us -- closing off to life. In their efforts to find a safe place, to avoid the inevitable suffering of life, these seemingly safe, secure people have merely saved up their suffering. They have put off their pain. They have carried it around without realizing it. And, in the meantime, they have piddled their lives away maintaining their defenses. We have come to feel deeply sorry for such people, because they will experience death with the greatest horror."
--Excerpted from
What We Can Learn From the Dying 
"It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live."  "Despise not death, but welcome it, for nature wills it like all else."  "Do every act of your life as if it were your last." --Marcus Aurelius
 John Bradshaw
 John Bradshaw   Creative Growth Center  
John Bradshaw has been called "America's leading personal growth expert."  Author of 5 New York Times bestsellers, Bradshaw On:The Family, Healing the Shame That Binds You, Homecoming, Creating Love, and Family Secrets, his books sold over four million copies in North America. He created and hosted four nationally broadcast PBS television series based on his best-selling books. John pioneered the concept of the "Inner Child" and brought the term "dysfunctional family" into the mainstream. He has touched and changed millions of lives through his books, television series, and his lectures and workshops around the country.
Healing the Shame that Binds You Deerfield Beach, FL: Health Communicaitons, Inc., 2005; Rev. Ed. (org. 1988) ISBN-13: 978-0-7573-0323-4;  ISBN-10: 0-7573-0323-4

See also:  John Bradshaw's Personal Page
On the "Inner Child"
from James J. & Constance M. Messina's web site...much useful material here
The Option Institute  Self Improvement Retreat Center for Growth & Happiness
The Option Institute
Based on Barry Neil Kaufman's work, including his best selling book on personal growth and self improvement: Happiness Is A Choice.
The MMS Institute (Motivation Management Institute--
Self/interpersonal/ organizational work) (Cherie Carter-Scott)

General: International Network on Personal Meaning
Continues & expands the work of Victor Frankl
General: ILoveULove.com  (Explores unconditional love, forgiveness, relationships, marriage, etc)


Melody Beattie
Melody Beattie
Melody Beattie
Books
Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time Hazelden, 1989. (pb) ISBN: 0894865838
Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself 2nd ed. Hazelden, 1987 (pb) ISBN: 0894864025
Choices: Taking Control of Your Life and Making It Matter Harper San Francisco,  2002 (hb) 2003 ISBN: 0062511181 (pb)
Codependents' Guide to the Twelve Steps Fireside 1992. (pb) ISBN: 0671762273
Finding Your Way Home: A Soul Survival Kit Harper San Francisco, 1998 ISBN: 0062511181
52 Weeks of Conscious Contact: Meditations for Connecting with God, Self, and Others (pb) Hazelden, 2003. ISBN: 1568388802
The Grief Club: The Secret to Getting Through All Kinds of Change (pb) Hazelden, 2006. ISBN: 1592853498
Journey to the Heart: Daily Meditations on the Path to Freeing Your Soul Harper San Francisco, 1996.  ISBN: 0062511211
The Language of Letting Go: Daily Meditations for Codependents Hazelden,1990. (hb); HarperCollins Publishers; Reprint ed.,1993. ISBN: 0062552910
The Language of Letting Go Journal Hazelden, 2003. ISBN: 1568389841
Lessons of Love: Rediscovering Our Passion for Life When It All Seems Too Hard to Take   (pb) HarperSanFrancisco; Reprint ed.,1995. ISBN: 0062510789
More Language of Letting Go: 366 New Daily Meditations Hazelden, 2000. ISBN: 1568385587
Playing it by Heart: Taking Care of Yourself No Matter What Hazelden, 1999. (pb) ISBN: 156838338X
Stop Being Mean to Yourself: A Story about Finding the True Meaning of Self Love Hazelden, 1998 (pb) ISBN: 1568382863


Pia Mellody  
Pia MellodyThe Meadows (a multi-disorder facility specializing in the treatment of trauma and addictions) ... Pia Mellody,
Clinical Consultant of The Meadows and Mellody House, is known and respected as a preeminent authority, lecturer and educator in the fields of addictions and relationships. Her work in codependence, boundaries, and the effects of childhood trauma on emotional development has profoundly influenced the treatment of addictions and issues around forming and maintaining relationships. She is the author of several extraordinary books, including Facing Codependence, Facing Love Addiction and her latest book, The Intimacy Factor. ... As one of the pioneers in the field of recovery, she developed theories on the effects of childhood trauma that became the foundation for The Meadows’ programs and are, in large measure, the reason for its success. ... Much of her work at The Meadows includes counseling with staff and individual patients. A highly acclaimed lecturer, she maintains a schedule of speaking engagements and training workshops throughout the world. from: http://www.themeadows.org/meadows-staff-bio-mellody.html
Books
P.M., & Andrea Wells Miller, Breaking Free: A Recovery Workbook for Facing Codependence (pb) HarperSanFrancisco; 1st ed., 1989. ISBN: 0062505904
P.M., & Andrea Wells Miller & J. Keith Miller, Facing Codependence : What It Is, Where It Comes from, How It Sabotages Our Lives (pb) ISBN: 0062505890 NY: HarperCollins, 1989.
with Andrea Wells Miller & J. Keith Miller, Facing Love Addiction: Giving Yourself the Power to Change the Way You Love
HarperSanFrancisco; 1st ed., 1992. ISBN: 0062506048
P.M., Lawrence S. Freundlich,The Intimacy Factor: The Ground Rules for Overcoming the Obstacles to Truth, Respect, and Lasting Love, HarperSanFrancisco; Reprint ed, 2004. ISBN: 0060095806


Peter Levine
Peter LevineFoundation for Human Enrichment
The Foundation for Human Enrichment - FHE is a non-profit, educational and research organization dedicated to the worldwide healing and prevention of trauma. We provide professional training in Somatic Experiencing® and outreach to under served populations and victims of violence, war and natural disasters. (from Foundation site)
see: The Institute for Authentic Process Healing (interview with Peter Levine)
Peter A. Levine, Ph.D., Clinical Consultant of Mellody House, is the developer of Somatic Experiencing®, a short-term naturalistic approach to the resolution and healing of trauma. Dr. Levine leads trainings in this approach throughout the world and has also taught in various indigenous cultures. He was a stress consultant for NASA in the development of the first space shuttle flight. ... (from The Meadows.org)
Books
Waking the Tiger : Healing Trauma: The Innate Capacity to Transform Overwhelming Experiences (pb) North Atlantic Books, 1997. ISBN: 155643233X
Healing Trauma: A Pioneering Program for Restoring the Wisdom of Your Body (hb)
Sounds True; Book & CD ed. 2005. ISBN: 1591792479
Healing Trauma: Restoring the Wisdom of the Body (Audio Cassette), Sounds True,1999. ISBN: 1564556948
Sexual Healing: Transforming the Sacred Wound (Audio CD) Sounds True; Unabridged ed ., 2003. ISBN: 1591790395
Body, Breath, & Consciousness: A Somatics Anthology : A Collection of Articles on Family Systems, Self-Psychology, The Bodynamics Model of Somatic Developmental Psychology, Shock Tr (pb) 
North Atlantic Books, 2004. ISBN: 1556434960
It Won't Hurt Forever: Guiding Your Child Through Trauma (Audio CD) Sounds True; CD & Bklt ed., 2005. ISBN: 1591793025

Resources: (Articles by Peter Levine): http://www.traumahealing.com/resources.html


Terry Real
Terry Real, Ph.D.  Relational Recovery Institute

  See also:  The Meadows

Books
How Can I Get Through to You? Closing the Intimacy Gap Between Men and Women (pb) Scribner; Reprint ed., 2002. ISBN: 0684868784
I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (pb) Scribner; Reprint ed., 1998. ISBN: 0684835398  
The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work (hb) Ballantine Books, 2007 ISBN: 1400064015
“The most central spiritual task of our time is working with fear” --Robert Sardello
"What is needed, rather than running away or controlling or suppressing or any other resistance, is understanding fear; that means, watch it, learn about it, come directly into contact with it. We are to learn about fear, not how to escape from it." --Jiddu Krishnamurti
Robert Sardello
Robert Sardello, Ph.d.
School of Spiritual Psychology

Articles by Sardello (at his site)

Focus on Sardello (at Banyen.com)

See Sheridan Hill's summary/explanation of Sardello's works
Also see: Lee Irwin's summary/intro to
Sardello's works

Books
Freeing the Soul from Fear (pb) Riverhead Hardcover, 1999. ISBN: 1573221333
Love and the Soul: Creating a Future for Earth (pb) Harper Perennial, 1996. ISBN: 0060926988

Love and the World: A Guide to Conscious Soul Practice (pb) Lindisfarne Books ISBN: 0970109741
Money and the Soul of the World (pb) Dallas Institute Publications, 1983. ISBN: 0911005021
The Power of Soul: Living the Twelve Virtues (pb) Hampton Roads Pub, Co., 2003. ISBN: 1571743197
Facing the World With Soul: The Reimagination of Modern Life  (pb) Lindisfarne Books; 2nd ed.,2004. ISBN: 1584200146
Silence. Goldenstone Press, 2006  Excerpt of Silence
[page xiii] If we listen only to the clairvoyants or to the scientists concerned with prediction, what is around the corner looks very dire indeed. But, knowledge of the future alone, regardless of the source, seems to me to be of very little importance because it is inevitably fatalistic. This fatalism stems from an emphasis on seeing what is ahead in terms of one content or another. . . . Regardless of what is seen, when the focus is on content then the creative powers of the human soul are neglected as being a primary factor in the making of the world.  Love and the World by Robert Sardello (previously titled "Love and Soul") 
[page xv] All the manifold and different phenomena of the soul are modifications and various transformations of love. Every stirring of a soulful kind, however it may come into appearance, is in some way modified love. Thus, it is not possible to know what stirs in the soul except through love, and depth psychology is an epistemology of the heart. When Jung says that soul refers to the imaginative possibilities in our own nature, we can hear this in a more dynamic sense as referring to the creating activity characteristic of love. Creating a Future for the Earth HarperCollins,1995.
Barry & Joyce Vissell
Barry & Joyce Vissell

   Shared Heart Foundation
Books
The Heart's Wisdom: A Practical Guide to Growing Through Love
Light in the Mirror: A New Way to Understand Relationships
Risk to Be Healed: The Heart of Personal and Relationship Growth
Shared Heart: Relationship Initiations and Celebrations
Models of Love
Meant to Be: Miraculous Stories to Inspire a Lifetime of Love




The Couples Clinic

CouplesClinicLogo
Pragmatic/Experiential Therapy for Couples
by
Brent J. Atkinson, Ph.D.

Read about their approach at: http://www.thecouplesclinic.com/our_approach.htm






Brent J. Atkinson, PH.D.
Brent Atkinson, Ph.D.
is Director of Post-Graduate Training at the Couples Research Institute in Geneva, Illinois, and a senior graduate faculty member in the Marriage and Family Therapy Program at Northern Illinois University. He is the principle architect of Pragmatic/Experiential Therapy for Couples, an approach translating new scientific findings about the brain into practical methods for improving relationships. He practices at The Couples Clinic in Geneva.
Brent J. Atkinson, Emotional Intelligence in Couples Therapy: Advances in Neurobiology and the Science of Intimate Relationships 2005. NY: WW Norton & Co.
Developing Habits for Relationship Success: A Workbook for Effective, Neurobiologically-Based Couples Therapy (May 2006--digital workbook--see: http://www.npbcatalog.com/nppsych/010699.html)

The Emotional Imperative  by Brent J. Atkinson, Ph.D.
  "Most couples therapy today is geared toward teaching partners to think and act differently toward each other, on the assumption that cognitive and behavioral strategies such as reframing, active listening. . .and so on can short-circuit explosive emotions and promote renewed intimacy and trust. But all of the foregoing assumes that our rational brains are in charge of our emotions, that what distinguished Homo sapiens from so-called "lower" animals is our capacity to reason before we react.
  But what if the human brain isn't actually wired that way? What if our neural circuitry programs us instead to rage and cower and collapse in grief in a nanosecond, before we ever get a chance to fashion an "I" statement or otherwise think things through? With the help of ever more refined imaging techniques that generate highly precise portraits of the brain in action, a new generation of neurobiologists is in the process of documenting that our cerebral topography actually favors flaming emotionality, not sweet reason. Thinking still counts, but not nearly as much as we've always assumed. So doctrine shattering is this mounting evidence for the hegemony of the "emotion brain," or more formally, the limbic brain, that Jaak Panksepp, a pioneering neurobiologist at Ohio's Bowling Green State University, has called it a genuine "neuroscience revolution."

Brain to Brain: New Ways to Help Couples Avoid Relapse by Brent J. Atkinson, Ph.D.       
The Love Breakthrough
by Brent J. Atkinson, Ph.D. --Org. published in: "O", The Oprah Magazine, January 2005, pp. 128-131, 163-164-- "My experience tells me that when partners are approached with compassion rather than cool logic or blazing argument, internal states will usually shift in ways that create the possibility for real intimacy. Our brains, after all, are wired for love."


 Will Miller
Dr. Will MillerDr. Will Miller's Web Site

    Over the past several generations we have become increasingly independent and individualistic. ... many of us are living away from our birthplace and our family of origin. We may have lots of friends and acquaintances but have fewer relatives in our daily life.  
    By any measure having a strong social support system is a critical resource for healthy living. Research abounds testifying to the need for close relationships to keep our mood buoyant through the uncertainties of human living. Refrigerator Rights relationships give us practical and emotional resources that casual friends cannot offer. Our psychological well-being depends on having strong social support.  
    Friends can give you affirmation and offer critiques. But neither their positive nor critical feedback feels the same as the feedback offered by those who love and care about you. We learn from others when we feel safe in their presence.
   Your psychological well being depends on these relationships!
                                 (continued--right column--)  
Will Miller, Glenn Sparks, Refrigerator Rights: Why we need to let people into our hearts, our homes (and our refrigerators).  NY: Perigee/Penguin Putnam, 2002.
     "Refrigerator rights" stands for the kind of closeness we have with people in our lives - friends, family, spouses. How many people can walk into our homes and just open up the fridge and help themselves? Only the people closest to us. Dr. Will Miller with Glenn Sparks, Ph.D., propose that most of us have very few people in our lives that can do this. They identify three factors that contribute to the lack of intimate connections we have with people: increased mobility away from our extended family, emphasis on individualism, and emotionally numbing media distractions."

--modified from http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_board/17/messages/693.html
********************
HOW DID WE GET INTO THIS PREDICAMENT? 
Two facts about modern American are revealing:
1. Americans relocate every five years. In 2005, 45 million moved

2. We are watching over 24 hours of television each week 

    ... the lifestyle of millions of Americans has become socially isolated, even as we become super-connected to the larger world through electronic media. It is ironic that many Americans can describe the kitchens of sitcom characters more accurately than the people who actually live nearby.
   
When combining relocating and giving hours every week to television and the Internet, we have become detached from the people who surround us every day. And yet we hold strong emotional ties to family and friends who live far away. ...
You may have a lot of Refrigerator Rights relationships - but do these people live nearby? Do you see them every day or every week? If you are typical, the answer is no! --modified from: http://www.drwill.com/Fridge.htm
Audio Interview with Will Miller (by Bill Thompson; Eye on Books)



Nina Atwood, M.Ed., LPC
Nina Atwood
Singles Coach (Education & Resources) --Soul Partner Coach  (Nina Atwood)
Books
Be Your Own Dating Service: A Step-by-Step Guide to Finding and Maintaining Healthy Relationships NY: Henry Holt, 1996.
Soul Talk: Powerful, Positive Communication for a Loving Partnership Sourcebooks, 2003.
Date Lines: Communication From "Hello" to "I Do" and Everything In Between NY: Owl Books, 1998.
Some Gender Resources/ Violence Prevention



Alternatives to Mars & Venus  (Susan Hamson)
See: The Rebuttal from Uranus  (critiques John Gray's Men are from Mars, etc)
Also see: The Rick Ross Institute --critiques John Gray)
Gender & Communication issues--Annotated Bibliography
Men for Change

Emotional Odyssey Program

See also: Healthy Relationships Curriculum (school violence reduction program)
More about this program at:  Prevention Programs Addressing Youth Dating Violence  (University of Calgary)
Profeminist men's group-- Halifax, Nova Scotia--promotes positive masculinity seeking to end sexism & violence

The Emotional Odyssey Project seeks to improve men’s health and well-being by teaching the knowledge, skills and attitudes necessary to build their emotional literacy and improve coping ability and decision making choices that can result in the prevention of depression and related harmful behaviours. By encouraging men in their personal growth and inner work we hope to empower participants to be healthy role models and to make contributions that will improve relationships and respect with self, others and the community.



William July II    
William July II William July's Website
Dr. William July is a dynamic author and speaker who creates lively and entertaining dialogue while providing sage advice to audiences. Although Dr. July is a psychology instructor he says his most important tool is providing “a dose of straightforward common sense.” He engages individuals and couples in constructive dialogue to promote healthy relationships and personal development.
Dr. July frequently appears on radio and television programs across the nation. He was a regularly featured guest on the television show “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” hosted by Cybill Shepherd. Dr. July's advice and comments are often featured in magazines such as Ebony, Essence, Cosmopolitan, Jet & Ladies Home Journal. He writes a regular column for Our Texas magazine. Critics have praised his books in Publisher’s Weekly, New York Newsday, Amazon.com, America Online & numerous other media.from:  http://www.williamjuly.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=12&Itemid=26
Books
Understanding the Tin Man: Why So Many Men Avoid Intimacy (pb) Broadway, 2001. ISBN: 0767905660
The Hidden Lover: What Women Need to Know That Men Can't Tell Them (pb) Broadway; 1st ed 2003. ISBN: 0385501358
Confessions of an Ex-Bachelor: How to Sift Through All the Games Players to Find Mr. Right (pb)
Broadway; 1st ed., 2003. ISBN: 0767911075
Brothers, Lust and Love (pb)
, Main Street Books; Revised ed 1998.  ISBN: 0385491492


Psychological Resources (Human Relations!)



Helpguide
"A Trusted Source for Non-Commercial Information: Mental Health, Healthy Lifestyles, & Aging Issues"



Psychological Self Help
Many resources at http://www.mentalhealth.net

For general communication (human relations skills),
see:  http://mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/
--various links from this site are linked in some categories below
 If you are having suicidal thoughts, see:  Read This First

West Virginia Institute for Innate Health
(West Virgina University)

Innate Health - is the unrealized psychological aspect of our immune system. It is resiliency. It is as natural to us as the physical immune system that we count on to heal our cuts and bruises and fight off the flu.
All people come into life with a natural ability to regain their psychological balance and sense of well-being. Our minds ordinarily work in a quiet, positive feeling as we express an innate intelligence that we experience and take for granted as wisdom, common sense and peace of mind. When we get caught up in negative thinking or struggle to fight upsetting thinking, we temporarily override or block our natural thinking and positive feelings and find ourselves lost or stuck in stress and distress.
See Reflections Essays

  Sydney Banks (Philosopher/Author)
Sydney BanksSydney Banks Web Site

See Sydney Banks Resources at Three Principles Foundation  (Books, Audio & Video)

Additional Principles Resources

Books
The Enlightened Gardener: A Novel (hb) Lone Pine Publishing, 2001, ISBN: 1551052989
The Missing Link: Reflections on Philosophy and Spirit (hb) Lone Pine Publishing,1998. ISBN: 0968164501
Second Chance (pb) Ballantine Books; Reprint ed., 1987. ISBN: 0449902439
In Quest of the Pearl (hb)
1st Duval-Bibb Pub. Co. ed.,1989. ISBN: 0937713023
The Enlightened Gardener Revisted (pb) Lone Pine Publishing, 2006. ISBN: 1551051583
Historically, the study and practice of psychiatry and psychology attempted to understand the workings of the human mind, in sickness and in health. Many believed that the mysteries of the mind could not be unraveled and that there was little hope for those unfortunate enough to suffer mental anguish.
    I cannot share this belief. Three decades ago, I discovered the fundamental principles that explain so many aspects of the human condition.
    Simply stated, what I realized is that human beings are able to create a world of their own making - either positive or negative. I saw that we were given three special gifts to assist us through life. This understanding became known as the Three Principles:
   Mind, which is the source of all intelligence
    Consciousness, which allows us to be aware of our existence
    Thought, which guides us through the world we live in as free-thinking agents.
   "Every time you have an insight, the world changes - at least that's what you think. The world is still the same, it's your mind that has changed, it's your thought system that has changed, it's your consciousness that has changed.
     And people will say: 'But what if it changes for the worse?'. That's impossible because divine mind, divine knowledge, wisdom is always positive. Nobody in this world can penetrate into the unknown with negativity because the unknown holds nothing but pure love. Pure love is...purity of mind...purity of consciousness...purity of thought.
     And once you realize that, you'll go home to where you belong. You go home to that divine state that everyone in the world is already there but they don't know it."  Syndey Banks, "Going Home"


Albert Ellis           (September 27, 1913 - July 24, 2007) 
Albert Ellis, PhD Albert Ellis Institute
Bio of Ellis

About: Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (REBT)
REBT was the first of the cognitive behavior therapy theories and is a humanistic, action-oriented approach to emotional growth. It was first articulated by Dr. Albert Ellis in 1955. REBT emphasizes the individual's capacity for creating emotions, overcoming the past by focusing on the present, and choosing and implementing satisfying alternatives to dysfunctional patterns.
The Institute's Achievements
AEI was the first cognitive behavior therapy facility in the New York metropolitan area. Today, AEI provides over 20,000 moderate-cost individual, family, and group therapy sessions a year.   ...In addition to professional practica offered on-site, AEI has also conducted trainings at over 900 universities, corporate institutions and social-service agencies over the years. Its faculty members have provided trainings in cognitive behavior therapy, addictions treatment, women's self-empowerment, anger management, and other topics.  ... Since 1965, AEI has presented over 3,000 self-help workshops to the community. Its 1970's pilot school for children, the Living School, spawned the development of emotional education programs now incorporated into school curricula throughout the U.S.  ... AEI is a distributor of over 200 books, audio and videotapes, titles for professionals as well as the lay community. Many of these resources are in widespread use in social service agencies, schools and workplace settings around the world.
Books
authored more than 75 books, including
Feeling Better, Getting Better, Staying Better: Profound Self-Help Therapy For Your Emotions (pb) Impact Publishers, 2001. ISBN: 1886230358
How to Keep People from Pushing Your Buttons (pb) Citadel Press; Reprint ed.,1995. ISBN: 080651670

How to Make Yourself Happy and Remarkably Less Disturbable (pb) Impact Publishers, 1999.  ISBN: 1886230188
Overcoming Destructive Beliefs, Feelings, and Behaviors: New Directions for Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (hb) Prometheus Books,  2001.
ISBN:1573928798

Ellis, & Robert Harper. A Guide to Rational Living. Wilshire Book Co; 3rd Rev ed., 1975. (pb) ISBN: 0879800429
The Road To Tolerance: The Philosophy Of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (pb) Prometheus Books, 2004. ISBN: 1591022371
How to Control Your Anxiety Before It Controls You (pb) Citadel Press, 1999. ISBN: 0806521368

Ellis & Raymond Chip Tafrate, How to Control Your Anger Before It Controls You, Citadel Press/Kensington Publishing, 1997. (pb) ISBN: 0-8065-2010-8
How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything--Yes, Anything! (pb). Carol Publishing Corp., 1988. ISBN: 0818404566
Ellis & Robert Harper. A Guide to Successful Marriage. (pb) Wilshire Book Co, 1967. ISBN: 0879800445
Ellis & Irving Becker. A Guide to Personal Happiness (pb) Wilshire Book Co., 1983. ISBN: 0879803959

Anger: How to Live With and Without It (pb) Citadel Press; Rev & Updtd ed., 2003.ISBN: 080652426X
The Myth of Self-Esteem: How Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy Can Change Your Life Forever
(pb) Prometheus Books, 2005. ISBN: 1591023548
Ellis & Robert Harper. Dating, Mating and Relating: How to Build a Healthy Relationship (pb) Citadel Press; Reprint ed., 2003. ISBN: 0806524545
Ellis & Ted Crawford. Making Intimate Connections: Seven Guidelines for Great Relationships and Better Communication  (pb)  Impact Publishers,  2000. ISBN: 1886230331
Ellis & Marcia Grad Powers. The Secret of Overcoming Verbal Abuse: Getting Off the Emotional Roller Coaster and Regaining Control of Your Life (pb) Wilshire Book Co., 2000.ISBN: 0879804459
Ellis & Michael E. Bernard (Eds). Rational Emotive Behavioral Approaches to Childhood Disorders: Theory, Practice and Research (hb) Springer; 1st ed., 2005.  ISBN: 0387263748
Shawn Blau &  Ellis. The Albert Ellis Reader: A Guide to Well-Being Using Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy (pb) Citadel Press, 1998. ISBN: 0806520329
Ellis & Catharine MacLaren. Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy: A Therapist's Guide, 2nd Rev Ed., (hb) Impact Publishers, 2005. ISBN: 1886230617
What is REBT?

Abraham MaslowAbraham Maslow
Official Maslow publications site


Abraham Maslow Electronic Books by Maurice Bassett Publishing

The PSI Cafe--A Psychological Resources Site
(links to Maslow resources)
The Maslow Nidus
List of Maslow's "B" (Being) values
Eupsychian Psychology
Maslow's assumptions underlying Eupsychian Management
Great article on Maslow by C. George Boeree
Books & Secondary Resources
The Farther Reaches of Human Nature  NY: Viking, 1971. Harmondworth, Eng: Penguin Books, 1973.
Future Visions: The Unpublished Papers of Abraham Maslow  (Ed: Edward Hoffman)  CA: Sage Publications, 1996.
The Maslow Business Reader (Ed: Deborah Stephens) NY: Wiley, 2000.
Maslow on Management With added interviews by Deborah Stephens and Gary Heil.
NY: Wiley, 1998. (Note: previously published as: Eupsychian Management: A Journal Homewood, IL: Irwin-Dorsey, 1965.)
Motivation and Personality NY: Harper, 1954. Second Ed. NY: Harper, 1970. 3rd Ed. NY: Addison-Wesley, 1987.

The Psychology of Science: A Reconnaissance  Chapel Hill, NC: Maurice Bassett Publishing, 2002. Published as an electronic book; available from www.AbrahamMaslow.com. Book review at www.ePublishersWeekly.com.

Religions, Values and Peak-Experiences  NY: Penguin Books, 1964, 1976.
Harmondsworth, Eng: Penguin, 1964, 1976, 1978, 1986.
Toward a Psychology of Being NY: Van Nostrand, 1962. Second Ed. NY: Van Nostrand, 1968 Third Ed. NY: Wiley, 1998.
The Founders of Humanistic Psychology --Roy Jose DeCarvalho, NY: Praeger, 1991.
The Growth Hypothesis in Psychology: The Humanistic Psychology of Abraham Maslow and Carl Rogers --Roy Jose DeCarvalho, Lewiston, NY: Edwin Mellen Press, 1991.
Humanistic Psychology: Conversations with Abraham Maslow, Gardner Murphy and Carl Rogers --Willard B. Frick. Bristol, IN: Wyndham Hall Press, 1989.

New Pathways in Psychology: Maslow & the Post-Freudian Revolution
Colin Wilson,  Chapel Hill, NC: Maurice Bassett Publishing, 2002. Published as an electronic book & available from www.AbrahamMaslow.com. Read a Sample Chapter.
Profile of Three Theories: Erikson, Maslow, and Piaget --Carol Tribe, Kendall/Hunt
Publishing Co, 1982.

The Third Force: The Psychology of Abraham Maslow  Frank Goble,  Chapel Hill, NC: Maurice Bassett Publishing, 2004. Published as electronic book--available from www.AbrahamMaslow.com


Matthew McKay
Matthem McKay New Harbinger cofounder and publisher Matt McKay received his Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the California School of Professional Psychology in 1978. He is the clinical director and cofounder of Haight Ashbury Psychological Services in San Francisco, CA, and a psychologist in private practice specializing in the treatment of depression and anxiety. As the author of twenty self-help books and acting publisher at New Harbinger, he has a unique understanding of readers’ needs.
In 1973, when he cofounded New Harbinger, he was among the first to recognize the need for research-based and clinically proven self-help books for general readers. McKay’s stellar reputation in professional circles has been instrumental in attracting first-rate clinicians to be New Harbinger’s authors. As a practicing psychologist, McKay has firsthand knowledge of the latest developments in the profession and the needs of readers.
His original vision for New Harbinger—as a resource for both general readers and professionals looking for effective solutions to real problems—continues to inspire and guide the direction of the company.
from: http://www.newharbinger.com/client/client_pages/aboutmatt.cfm
Books/Resources
M. McKay & Barbara Quick, The Commitment Dialogues:  How to Talk Your Way Through the Tough Times and Build a Stronger Relationship.  Mc-Graw Hill, 2005. ISBN: 0071441557
M. McKay & Patrick Fanning, Self-Esteem: A Proven Program of Cognitive Techniques for Assessing, Improving, and Maintaining Your Self-Esteem (pb) New Harbinger Publications; 3rd ed., 2000. ISBN: 1572241985
M. McKay, Patrick Fanning, Carole Honeychurch, Catharine Sutker. The Self-Esteem Companion: Simple Exercises to Help You Challenge Your Inner Critic & Celebrate Your Personal Strengths (pb) New Harbinger Publications, 2005. ISBN: 1572244119
M. McKay, Catharine Sutker, The Self-Esteem Guided Journal: A Ten Week Program (pb) New Harbinger Publications, 2005. ISBN: 157224402X
M. McKay, Martha Davis, Patrick Fanning, Messages: The Communication Skills Book
New Harbinger Publications; 2nd ed. 1995. ISBN: 1572240229
Martha Davis,  Elizabeth Robbins Eshelman, M McKay, Relaxation & Stress Reduction Workbook, 5th Ed. (pb) New Harbinger Publications; 2000. ISBN: 1572242140
M. McKay, Peter D. Rogers, Judith McKay, When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within, 2nd Ed. (pb) New Harbinger Publications; 2003. ISBN: 1572243449
M. McKay, Patrick Fanning, Kim Paleg, Dana Landis, When Anger Hurts Your Kids: A Parent's Guide (pb) New Harbinger Publications, 1996. ISBN: 1572240458
M. McKay & Patrick Fanning, The Anger Control Workbook (pb)
New Harbinger Publications, 2000. ISBN: 1572242205
M. McKay, Patrick Fanning, KIm Paleg, Couple Skills: Making Your Relationship Work (pb)  New Harbinger Publications, 1994. ISBN: 1879237660
M. McKay, Martha Davis, Patrick Fanning.Thoughts & Feelings: Taking Control of Your Moods and Your Life: A Workbook of Cognitive Behavioral Techniques (pb)  2nd Ed. New Harbinger Publications; 1998. ISBN: 1572240938
M. McKay, Patrick Fanning. Prisoners of Belief: Exposing & Changing Beliefs That Control Your Life (pb) New Harbinger Publications, 1991. ISBN: 1879237040
Kim Paleg, M. McKay, When Anger Hurts Your Relationship: 10 Simple Solutions for Couples Who Fight (pb) New Harbinger Publications,2001. ISBN: 1572242604
M. McKay, Catharine Sutker, Kristin Beck,The Self-Nourishment Companion: 52 Inspiring Ways to Take Care of Yourself (pb)  New Harbinger Publications,  2001. ISBN: 1572242426
M. McKay, Patrick Fanning, Successful Problem Solving: A Workbook to Overcome the Four Core Beliefs That Keep You Stuck (pb) New Harbinger Publications,  2002. ISBN: 1572243023
Patrick Fanning, M. McKay (eds), Family Guide to Emotional Wellness: Proven Self-Help Techniques and Exercises for Dealing With Common Problems and Building Crucial Life Skills (pb) New Harbinger Publications, 2000. ISBN: 1572242078
M.McKay, Carole Honeychurch, Angela Watrous, Love Tune-Ups: 52 Fun Ways to Open Your Heart and Make Sparks Fly (pb) New Harbinger Publications, 2002. ISBN: 1572242744
M.McKay, Patrick Fanning, Daily Relaxer: Relax Your Body, Calm Your Mind, & Refresh Your Spirit (pb) New Harbinger Publications; 2Rev Ed ed., 2006. ISBN: 1572244542
M. McKay, David Harp, Neural Path Therapy: How to Change Your Brain's Response to Anger, Fear, Pain, and Desire (pb) New Harbinger Publications, 2005.  ISBN: 1572244267
Couple Skills Video
Stress Innoculation Video
 
 
Eve Wood, M.D.
Eve Wood, M.D."In some way, we each create a piece of our own destiny. The more we nurture faith in what is possible, the more we are able to achieve. Our outlook affects our vulnerability and our healing potential. Surround yourself with positive messages and people who believe in you and your amazing potential. You deserve to live a life of joy and peace. Cultivate involvements that support that vision."  (Step Nine: Nurture Hope)
Books
Medicine, Mind and Meaning: A Psychiatrist's Guide to Treating the Body, Mind, and Spirit.  Tucson, AZ: In One Press, 2004. ISBN: 0974108308
There's Always Help; There's Always Hope: An Award-Winning Psychiatrist Shows You How to Heal Your Body, Mind, and Spirit  Hay House, 2006.  ISBN: 1401911196

"We all need help at times. We are interdependent creatures who need one another. Ask for help whenever you find yourself stuck, confused or overwhelmed. There are so many wonderful healers in our world. Search for those that touch you." (Step Ten: Ask for Help--from Mind, Med. & Meaning)
Medicine, Mind and Healing
Integrative Psychiatry: Ten Steps to Wellness
http://www.medicinemindandmeaning.com/medicalguidance.cfm

--Nice summary of key points in her book (good to consider to keep oneself balanced)
Good overview of Depression & Resources for further information
Empathy, Listening, Compassion


"The first duty of love is to listen."--Eric Fromm
"So when you are listening to somebody, completely, attentively, then you are listening not only to the words, but also to the feeling of what is being conveyed, to the whole of it, not part of it." --Jiddu Krishnamurti
Listening & Empathy  (at MentalHelp.Net)
Note forward page button, bottom right--on the bottom of the page--there is additional material
Empathy   Lawrence J. Bookbinder

International Listening Association

"When we talk about understanding, surely it takes place only when the mind listens completely - the mind being your heart, your nerves, your ears- when you give your whole attention to it."--Jiddu Krishnamurti
Interpersonal Listening Skills (Management Help) Carter McNamara

Mary Gordon
Mary Gordon  Interview with Mary Gordon,
  founder of Roots of Empathy
 
(at PBS--Global Tribe)
Book: Roots of Empathy: Changing the World Child by Child (2005)


For parents/teachers: Roots of Empathy, as an evidence-based, community-driven classroom program, has dramatically reduced levels of aggression and violence among schoolchildren while raising social/ emotional competence and increasing empathy. The program teaches empathy through having students observe mother-baby interactions throughout the school year as they explore and discuss issues connected with human growth and development.   
Roots of Empathy
The Center for the Development of Peace & Well-Being  (Univ. of CA-Berkeley)
Research & articles on compassion & empathy
Inner Bonding: Grace Through Growth  Developed by Margaret Paul, Ph.D. and Erika Chopich, Ph.D.


Sharon Salzberg
Sharon Salzberg
Sharon's Site

Is it Uncool to be Kind? Interview with Sharon Salzberg (at beliefnet.com)

Sharon Salzberg has been a student of Buddhism since 1971 and has been leading meditation retreats worldwide since 1974. She teaches both intensive awareness practice (vipassana or insight meditation) and the profound cultivation of lovingkindness and compassion (the Brahma Viharas). Cofounder of the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts, and The Barre Center for Buddhist Studies ...
from: ShambhalaMoutain.org

Books
The Force of Kindness: Change Your Life With Love & Compassion (hb) Sounds True; Book & CD ed. 2005. ISBN: 1591793556
Faith: Trusting Your Own Deepest Experience.Riverhead (hb),  2002. ISBN: 1573222283
Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness (pb) Shambhala; Reprint ed.,1997. ISBN: 1570621764
Lovingkindness Meditation: Learning to Love Through Insight Meditation (Audio Cassette) Sounds True, 1996 ISBN: 156455404X
A Heart as Wide as the World (pb) Shambhala, 1999. ISBN: 1570624283
S. Salzberg & Joseph Goldstein. Insight Meditation: A Step- By- Step Course on How to Meditate (Spiral-bound) Sounds True; Unabridged ed., 2002. ISBN: 1564559068


Forgiveness in Relationships


 
With Forgiveness Flash Video   http://www.withforgivenessmovie.com/    &  Web site:   With Forgiveness
See also:  Susyn Reeve,  Peace & Happiness Works http://www.peaceandhappinessworks.com/
"Forgiveness is the key that can unshackle us from a past that will not rest in the grave of things over and done with. As long as our minds are captive to the memory of having been wronged, they are not free to wish for reconciliation with the one who wronged us." --Lewis B. Smedes
.
"Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." --Mark Twain


"Of the seven deadly sins, anger is probably the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over past grievances, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel of both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back -- in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you." --Frederick Beuchner

"Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past." --Author Unknown (Alexa Young?)

"Our capacity to make peace with another person and with the world depends very much on our capacity to make peace with ourselves." --Thich Nhat Hanh

". . . that is what forgiveness is all about — working through the unfinished business, letting go of the pain and moving on for your sake. You forgive so that you can finally get rid of the excess baggage that has been weighing you down and holding you back; so that you can be free to do and be whatever you decide instead of stumbling along according to the script painful past experiences wrote for you." --Sidney & Suzanne Simon, in Forgiveness: How to Make Peace With Your Past and Get On With Your Life

"Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves." --Sidney & Suzanne Simon
Recommended: Immaculee Ilibagiza, Left To Tell: Discovering God Amidst the Rwandan Holocaust Hay House, 2006. ISBN: 1401908969   (A powerful life-changing story of healing forgiveness in the face of hate and genocide....)
Interpersonal Forgiveness is a willingness to abandon one's right to resentment, negative judgment, and indifferent behavior toward one who unjustly injured us, while fostering the undeserved qualities of  compassion, generosity and even love toward him or her.  --Robert D. Enright and Julio Rique Robert D. Enright, Forgiveness Is a Choice: A Step- By- Step Process for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope (hb) American Psychological Association, 2001. SBN: 1557987572
Exploring Forgiveness by Robert D. Enright & Joanna North (eds) (pb) University of Wisconsin Press, 1998. ISBN: 0299157741
Helping Clients Forgive: An Empirical Guide for Resolving Anger and Restoring Hope by Robert D. Enright & Richard P. Fitzgibbons. (hb) American Psychological Association; 1st ed., 2000. ISBN: 1557986894
Rising Above the Storm Clouds: What It's Like to Forgive by Robert D. Enright (hb) (ages 4-8) Magination Press, 2004. ISBN: 1591470757
Forgiveness: Theory, Research, and Practice (pb)
by Michael E. McCullough, Kenneth I Pargament, & Carl E. Thoresen (eds). (pb). Guilford Press; 1st ed., 2001. ISBN: 1572307110
Beverly Engel, The Power of Apology: Healing Steps to Transform All Your Relationships (pb) Wiley; 1 ed.,  2002. ISBN: 0471218928
Forgiveness: How to Make Peace With Your Past and Get on With Your Life (pb) by Sidney B. Simon, Suzanne Simon. Warner Books; Reprint ed., 1991. ISBN: 0446392596
Beverly Flanigan, Forgiving the Unforgivable: Overcoming the Bitter Legacy of Intimate Wounds. (pb)  Wiley; Rep ed., 1994. ISBN: 0020322305
Charles Klein, How to Forgive When You Can't Forget (pb) Berkley Trade; Reprint ed., 1997. ISBN: 0425160041
 “Love is what we are born with. Fear is what we learn. The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and prejudices and the acceptance of love back in our hearts.”—Marianne Williamson (from Loveandforgive.org site)
Campaign for Love & Forgiveness
      (The Fetzer Institute)
Campaign for Love & Forgiveness
See:
http://www.loveandforgive.org/
Many good resources here--check out:
http://www.loveandforgive.org/letting_go.php -- for "Letting Go Online Ritual of Forgiveness"
Resources for Educators:
http://www.loveandforgive.org/take_action_for_educators.php See also site for sharing stories of love and forgiveness at:
 http://www.loveandforgive.org/share_stories_introduction.php
And, a variety of stories:
http://www.loveandforgive.org/share_stories_listen.php

"He who is devoid of the power to forgive, is devoid of the power to love."
--Martin Luther King, Jr., (from Loveandforgive.org site)

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”–Paul Boese (from Loveandforgive.org site)
"All blame is a waste of time.  No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you.”—Wayne Dyer
(from Loveandforgive.org site)

Eileen Borris-Dunchunstang
Eileen R. Borris-Dunchunstang
http://www.dreileenborris.com/
Dr. Eileen Borris is a highly regarded licensed psychologist, educator, and trainer who is respected for her body of work in mind/body approaches to health and healing, forgiveness training, stress management and working with troubled relationships including separation and divorce. She is particularly gifted in working with mindfulness based interventions and imagery techniques such as Guided Imagery and Music, EMDR and dream interpretation. With her unique blend of training she assists people in individual, relationship and marital difficulties as well as working with trauma victims and people with money issues. Dr. Borris began her career in 1985 when she helped organize a wholistic health center working with cancer patients. She is a nationally and internationally known speaker and trainer in the areas of healing relationships, forgiveness, reconciliation, conflict resolution and trauma recovery.  from: http://www.dreileenborris.com/     (More at this site!)
Book
Finding Forgiveness: A 7-Step Program for Letting Go of Anger and Bitterness (hb) McGraw-Hill; 1st ed., 2006. ISBN: 0071474692
"If you haven't forgiven yourself something, how can you forgive others?"--Dolores Huerta
A Campaign for Forgiveness
Catherine Blount Foundation
The Healing Power of Forgiveness

Tools for Coping--on Forgiveness
from James J. & Constance M. Messina's web site...much useful material here
The Forgiveness Net

The Forgiveness Project
The Forgiveness Project
     The Forgiveness Project is a new organisation working with grassroots projects in the fields of conflict resolution, reconciliation and victim support.
    At a time when scenes of atrocity, conflict and crime fill our TV screens and newspapers, when tit-for-tat killings, attacks and counter-attacks seem to grab all the headlines, The Forgiveness Project aims to tell the quieter, less publicised stories of reconciliation. The stories of people who have discovered that the only way to move on in life, is to lay aside hatred and blame.
     Set up by a small team working purely independently with no religious or organisational affiliation, The Forgiveness Project consists of a touring exhibition (The F Word) that will build on an evolving collection of narratives.  (founded by Marina Cantacuzino) --from web site
Powerful stories of forgiveness at: The Forgiveness Project
Desmond Tutu
Desmond Tutu  Archbishop Desmond Tutu was the chairman of South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC). The TRC was created by Nelson Mandela’s Government of National Unity in 1995 to help South Africans come to terms with their extremely troubled past. It was established to investigate the violations that took place between 1960 and 1994, to provide support and reparation to victims and their families, and to compile a full and objective record of the effects of apartheid on South African society. (from The Forgiveness Project website)
                          The Desmond Tutu Peace Centre

"To forgive is not just to be altruistic. It is the best form of self-interest. It is also a process that does not exclude hatred and anger. These emotions are all part of being human. You should never hate yourself for hating others who do terrible things: the depth of your love is shown by the extent of your anger.

However, when I talk of forgiveness I mean the belief that you can come out the other side a better person. A better person than the one being consumed by anger and hatred. Remaining in that state locks you in a state of victimhood, making you almost dependent on the perpetrator. If you can find it in yourself to forgive then you are no longer chained to the perpetrator. You can move on, and you can even help the perpetrator to become a better person too."--Archbishop Desmond Tutu
Desmond Tutu on Forgiveness & Reconciliation (at John Templeton Foundation)
Desmond Tutu on Forgiveness (at Write Spirit.net--many other resources here)
Books
No Future Without Forgiveness ISBN: 0385496893  Doubleday, 1999.
God Had a Dream: A Vision of Hope for Our Time ISBN: 0385477848, Doubleday, 2004.
Also, collections of his speeches and sermons:
Crying in the Wilderness (1982)
Hope and Suffering: Sermons and Speeches (1983)
The Words of Desmond Tutu (1989)
The Rainbow People of God (1994)
The Essential Desmond Tutu (1997)
Related South African books
Long Walk to Freedom: The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela ISBN: 0316548189 Back Bay Books, 1995.
Antjie Krog, Country of My Skull : Guilt, Sorrow, and the Limits of Forgiveness in the New South Africa ISBN: 0812931297 Three Rivers Press, 2000.
Leonard Thompson, A History of South Africa, 3rd Ed. ISBN: 0300087764 Yale Univ. Press, 3rd Ed.,2001.
Rian Malan, My Traitor's Heart: A South African Exile Returns to Face His Country, His Tribe, and His Conscience ISBN: 0802136842  Grove Press, 2000.
Pumla Gobodo-Madikizela, A Human Being Died That Night: A South African Woman Confronts the Legacy of Apartheid ISBN: 0618446591 Mariner Press, Reprt Ed., 2004.

The Forgiveness Web
How to Forgive or Be Forgiven

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."--Mahatma Gandhi
John-Roger John-Roger
  Forgiveness Web Site

Features work of John-Roger, esp. his book:
Forgiveness: The Key to the Kingdom; 
See also:
 http://www.john-roger.org/
"Self-forgiveness is the key to the kingdom. It not only opens the door, it's the hinges on the  door, it's the key to the door, and it's also the little bell that rings and lets you know the door opened."
 
"Anger. It’s a peculiar yet predictable emotion. It begins as a drop of water. An irritant. A frustration. Nothing big, just an aggravation. Someone gets your parking place. Someone pulls in front of you on the freeway. A waitress is slow and you are in a hurry. The toast burns. Drops of water. Drip. Drip. Drip. Drip. Yet, enough of these seemingly innocent drops of anger and before long you’ve got a bucket full of rage. Walking revenge. Blind bitterness. Unharnessed hatred. We trust no one and bare our teeth at anyone who gets near. We become walking time bombs that, given just the right tension and fear, could explode.
.
Now, is that any way to live? What good has hatred ever brought? What hope has anger ever created? What problems have ever been resolved by revenge?"
Max Lucado, No Wonder They Call Him Savior
Forgive for Good --Learning to Forgive –Fred Luskin,
Ph.D.—Stanford University


"Hitler and Mussolini were only the primary spokesmen for the attitude of domination and craving for power that are in the heart of almost everyone. Until the source is cleared, there will always be confusion and hate, wars and class antagonisms." --Jiddu Krishnamurti
The Forgiving Way  --Dr. Jim Dincalci

Edward Hallowell
Ed Hallowell, M.D.

http://www.drhallowell.com/

The Hallowell Center was founded by Dr. Edward M. Hallowell --it specializes in the treatment of Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), Worry/Anxiety, and Child Learning Disabilities.  He has written on a variety of topics!

Books
Answers to Distraction with John J. Ratey. (pb) Bantam; Bantam Tra ed., 1996. ISBN: 055337821X
Delivered from Distraction: Getting the Most out of Life with Attention Deficit Disorder with John J. Ratey. (hb) Ballantine Books, 2005. ISBN: 034544230X

Driven To Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood Through Adulthood. with John J. Ratey. (pb) Touchstone; Reprint ed., 1995. ISBN: 0684801280
Dare to Forgive: The Power of Letting Go and Moving On  Health Communication International, 2004. ISBN: 0757300103
Connect: 12 Vital Ties That Open Your Heart, Lengthen Your Life, and Deepen Your Soul
(pb) Pocket,
2001. ISBN: 0743406214
The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness: Five Steps to Help Kids Create and Sustain Lifelong Joy. (pb) Ballantine Books; Reprint ed., 2003.  ISBN: 0345442334
Human Moments: How to Find Meaning and Love in Your Everyday Life.
(pb) HCI, 2001. ISBN: 1558749101
Worry
(pb). Ballantine Books; 1st. ed., 1998. ISBN: 0345424581
"If you want to see the brave, look at those who can forgive.  If you want to see the heroic, look at those who can love in return for hatred."  The Bhagavad Gita


Michael Henderson
Michael HendersonThe Optimistic Realist  (Henderson's site)

Michael Henderson is a freelance journalist and the author of nine books, the latest being See You After the Duration and Forgiveness: Breaking the Chain of Hate. He has been a TV presenter, a broadcaster and for more than fifty years worked for peace and understanding in some 30 countries. In the autumn of 2000 he returned to Britain after 22 years in Oregon where he was president of the Portland branch of the English-Speaking Union and of the World Affairs Council of Oregon, as well as being on the board of the Oregon United Nations Association. He now lives in Westward Ho! North Devon.

Books
Forgiveness: Breaking the Chain of Hate (pb) ISBN: 1-58151-050-0 (2002). (Arnica Publishing; 2nd Rev ed.,2003. ISBN: 0972653562.)
All Her Paths Are Peace: Women Pioneers in Peacemaking (pb)
Kumarian Press, 1994. ISBN: 1565490347
The Forgiveness Factor - Stories of Hope in a World of Conflict (pb)

Grosvenor Books USA, 1996. ISBN: 1852390247
See You After the Duration: The Story of British Evacuees to North America in World War II (pb)
PublishAmerica, 2004. ISBN: 1413738680
See: "Extreme Cases of Forgiveness"  June 20, 2006 by Michael Henderson at: http://www.iofc.org/en/resources/editorial/709.html


See:  Michael Henderson's Forgiveness: Breaking the Chain of Hate
Reviewed by Gene Knudsen Hoffman
Speech by Michael Henderson "Forgiveness--Breaking the Chain of Hate" at The Hague, Oct. 29, 2002
 The Hoffman Institute (The Quadrinity Process)
Hoffman Institute Logo  Web site: The Hoffman Institute
  





 See: The Light News (Newsletter)
Books:
Tim Laurence, The Hoffman Process: The World Famous Technique that Empowers You to Forgive Your Past, Heal Your Present, and Transform Your Future). (pb) NY: Bantam Dell/Random House 2004.  ISBN: 0-553-38276-4.
Kani Comstock & Marisa Thame, Journey Into Love: Ten Steps to Wholeness (pb)  Willow Pr (2000)  ISBN-10: 0967918642  ;  ISBN-13: 978-0967918648
Robert Hoffman,
No One Is to Blame: Freedom from Compulsive Self-Defeating Behavior (pb) Hoffman Inst; 3rd ed., (1988) ISBN-10: 0831400579 ; ISBN-13: 978-0831400576

 Highly recommended!
Larry James
Larry James
Larry James--Forgiveness--What's It For?
In February, 1996, Larry joined the staff of Dr. John Gray, Ph.D. author of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus." He was on staff with Dr. Gray for eight years. He was also Dr. Gray's personal choice to host the popular "Mars & Venus Chat Room" on America Online for nearly three years. He is a personally trained facilitator of Dr. Gray's "Mars and Venus Seminars." Larry is the former Associate Producer of the nationally syndicated "Mars & Venus" radio talk show.  Larry also does Personal Relationship Coaching for high functioning singles and married couples; people who are committed to "doing" whatever it takes to make their relationships work. He is also a relationship coach on www.HealthyPlace.com and www.LoveStories.com.
Hawaii Forgiveness Project
See "Forgiveness Stories"  (on this site)

Colin C. Tipping
Colin TippingInstitute for Radical Forgiveness

Making Room for the Miracle Worksheet
Books
Radical Forgiveness, Making Room for the Miracle, 2nd Ed (pb) Quest Publishing & Distribution, 2002. ISBN: 0970481411
Radical Manifestation: The Fine Art of Creating the Life You Want (pb) Global 13 Publishing, 2006. ISBN: 0970481497
A Radical Incarnation: (YOURS) (pb) Global 13 Publishing 2003. ISBN: 097048142X
Spiritual Intelligence at Work: A Radical Approach to Increasing Productivity, Raising Morale and Preventing Conflict in the Workplace Global 13 Publications, 2005.
ISBN: 0970481470 
International Forgiveness Institute

Everett WorthingtonEvertt Worthington
“Resentment, one of the core
 elements of unforgiveness, is
 like carrying
around a red-hot
 rock with the intention of
 someday throwing it back
at
 the one who hurt you. It tires
 us and burns us.  Who wouldn’t
 want
simply to let the rock
 fall to the ground?” --
Everett Worthington
Journey to Forgiveness Story  Everett Worthington, Ph.D.
The Science of Forgiveness by Everett Worthington
Books
Five Steps to Forgiveness: The Art and Science of Forgiving  (hb) NY: Crown Publishers, 2001. ISBN: 0609609181  Based on more than a decade of research, including his own work and that of  dozens of psychologists investigating the scientific benefits of forgiveness, Dr. Worthington has distilled the REACH plan: 1. Recall the hurt; 2. Empathize with the one who hurt you; 3. Altruistically decide to forgive; 4. Commit  publicly to forgiveness; 5. Hold on to that forgiveness. He offers simple, clear advice for putting the program to work in your own life and many examples how others have used it to forgive.
Forgiving and Reconciling: Bridges to Wholeness and Hope (pb) InterVarsity Press; Rev ed., 2003. ISBN:  0830832440     (Worthington struggled with anger and a desire for revenge after his mother was murdered in a home burglary shortly before he co-authored To Forgive Is Human: How to Put Your Past in the Past).
Handbook of Forgiveness (ed). (hb) Brunner-Routledge, 2005. ISBN: 0415949491
To Forgive Is Human: How to Put Your Past in the Past
(pb) by Michael E. McCullough, Steven J. Sandage, Everett L. Worthington.  InterVarsity Press, 1997. ISBN: 0830816836
The Power of Forgiving (hb) Templeton Foundation Press, 2005) ISBN: 1932031944
(ed). Dimensions of Forgiveness: Psychological Research & Theological Perpsectives (Laws of Life Symposia Series, V. 1) Templeton Foundation Press, 1998. ISBN: 189015122X
Christian Marital Counseling: Eight Approaches to Helping Couples (pb) by Everett L. Worthington (ed)  Resource Publications (OR),2000. ISBN: 1579104525
Value Your Mate: How to Strengthen Your Marriage (Strategic Christian Living) (pb) by Everett L. Worthington, Baker Pub Group, 1994. ISBN: 0801097274
The Center for the Development of Peace & Well-Being (Univ. of Californa --Berkeley)
Research & articles on forgiveness
Journey to Forgiveness
"Are you willing to explore forgiveness? Making the decision to
forgive is just the beginning of a long journey. Just like on a
physical journey, you will need provisions, directions, a map
and resources; especially since our  culture does not often
provide the tools for us to transcend revenge, punishment,
bitterness and self- righteousness."
Documentary made for TV; produced by the National Council of Churches; many nice resources here & stories of reconciliation or forgiveness. See also the section on StoryKeepers.
Lionheart Foundation
(The National Emotional Literacy Project for Prisoners)
Robin Casarjian 
Robin Casarjian
Robin Casarjian is the Founder and Director of the Lionheart Foundation and its National Emotional Literacy Projects. She is a public speaker, writer, and consultant with extensive experience in education, stress management training, psychotherapy, and administration. She is author of Forgiveness: A Bold Choice for a Peaceful Heart (Bantam, 1992) and Houses of Healing: A Prisoner’s Guide to Inner Power and Freedom (Lionheart Press, 1995), and co-author, with Bethany Casarjian, Ph.D., of Power Source: Taking Charge of Your Life (Lionheart Press, 2003)....Whether in inner-city classrooms, hospitals, corporations or prisons, Robin’s work has been widely acclaimed for its clarity, directness, and unwavering vision of the enormous potential within all people.
See Bio of Robin at Shift-in-Action (Institute of Noetic Sciences)
See video clips: http://www.lionheart.org/prison_proj/Videopages/frameset.html 
Books
Robin Casarjian:
Forgiveness: A Bold Choice for a Peaceful Heart  Bantam 1992. ISBN: 0553352369
The Art of Forgiving: A Practical Path to Maturity and Inner Peace (Audio Cassette) Shambhala Publications,  1998. ISBN: 1570624364
Houses of Healing: A Prisoner's Guide to Inner Power and Freedom. The Lionheart Foundation, 1995. ISBN: 0964493306
The Houses of Healing Training Manual (Spiral-bound)  

Lionheart Foundation, 2000. ISBN: 0964493322
Suffolk University: Center for Restorative Justice  
for links on Restorative Justice

Murder Victims' Families for Reconciliation

How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.--Marcus Aurelius
Spirituality & Health –On Forgiveness

Worldwide Forgiveness Alliance

LearnWell Forgiveness Center (for nurses & counselors)
LearnWell Forgiveness Therapy

Why Forgive  (Explore Faith)


"We attach our feelings to the moment when we were hurt, endowing it with immortality. And we let it assault us every time it comes to mind. It travels with us, sleeps with us, hovers over us while we make love, and broods over us while we die. Our hate does not even have the decency to die when those we hate die--for it is a parasite sucking OUR blood, not theirs. There is only one remedy for it. [forgiveness] -Lewis B. Smedes - Forgive & Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve
Guy Pettitt
Guy Pettitt  Dr. Guy Pettitt's Forgiveness Process  & Forgiveness
  Process Navigation Page  (very comprehensive!)
  The Heart of Healing Part I (by Guy Pettitt--pdf file)-- great!  (Makes use of Aramaic/Essene teachings &
  influenced by
Edith Stauffer’s book:
  “Unconditional Love and Forgiveness”)

  The Heart of Healing Part II
  The Heart of Healing Part III

Quotations on Forgiveness
(from site on LOVE: http://www.iloveulove.com/ )

Other resources:  Forgive and Forget: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve by Lewis B. Smedes, 1996.
Gerald G. Jampolsky, Forgiveness: The Greatest Healer of All (1999)
John Monbourquette, How to Forgive: A Step-by-Step Guide (St. Anthony Messenger Press, 2001, ISBN 0-86716-427-1)
Mariah Burton Nelson
Mariah Burton Nelson
Mariah Burton Nelson, The Unburdened Heart: 5 Keys to Forgiveness and Freedom (Harper San Francisco 2000)
  1. Awareness: Remember who hurt you and how.
  2. Validation: Talk to a sympathetic listener.
  3. Compassion: Strive to see the offender’s humanity.
  4. Humility: Reflect on your own faults and failings.
  5. Self-forgiveness: Open your heart to yourself.
Mariah tells the story of her journey to forgiveness.  At fourteen (until she was sixteen), she was molested by her twenty-five year old swimming coach, a husband and father. As an adult, she came to understand the importance of forgiveness.
Mariah Burton Nelson
First Chapter of Mariah's poignant story
"...those who journey in the garden land of knowledge, because they see the end in the beginning, see peace in war and friendliness in anger." Baha'u'llah
Exploring the Limits of Forgiveness: The Holocaust & the Dark Side of Humanity


"I swore never to be silent whenever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented."--Elie Weisel

Elie Wiesel
Elie Wiesel
The Elie Wiesel Foundation for Humanity

The Life & Work of Elie Wiesel (PBS)
Never Again: A Holocaust Memorial   (PRX-Public Radio Exchange)
See Wiesel Resources; Teachers Guide; Annotated Bibliography of Wiesel's work at this PBS site
Remembering the Holocaust   (remember.org)
Simon Wiesenthal
Simon WiesenthalSimon Wiesenthal, The Sunflower: On the Possibilities & Limits of Forgiveness

Simon Wiesenthal Center
See responses/reactions to Wiesenthal's The Sunflower, at: Analysis of The Limits of Forgiveness: 10 Essays
The Limits of Forgiveness: Taming the Vindictive Passions
(Book Review: Getting Even: Forgiveness and Its Limits. By Jeffrie G. Murphy.)

Janis Abrahms Spring, How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, The Freedom Not ToHarper Paperbacks,  2005.
ISBN-10: 0060009314 ;  ISBN-13: 978-0060009311
Spring argues . . . that morally and spiritually a person is no more required to forgive an unrepentant offender than he or she is to love him. When someone who has been truly wronged and forgives too easily (cheap forgiveness), that person is not acting in [his/her] own best interest, but rather preserving a relationship at any cost.
      An absolute refusal to forgive ... is also harmful to the injured person. Although punishing the offender may provide a sense of power, it also fosters negativity and self-isolation. ... when genuine forgiveness is impossible, because the injury is too great or the offender will not apologize, a better decision than holding onto anger is to work through the injury, or acceptance. This healing process will lead to emotional resolution and the ability to move on with one's life.
     
Genuine forgiveness,... occurs when both parties negotiate a process during which the hurt person expresses his or her pain, and the offender apologizes and takes responsibility for his or her poor behavior.    [modified from Publishers Weekly Review]




Gratitude, Happiness, Contentment, Peace


 Let not your mind run on what you lack as much as on what you have already.--Marcus Aurelius  
  The Simple Truths of Appreciation Flash Video  http://www.appreciationmovie.com/   (SimpleTruths.com)
"It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere." -Agnes Repplier, American Essayist (1855-1950)
Angel- A Network for Grateful Living
(Brother David Steindl-Rast)

"The ultimate purpose of life--each life, any life, your life this time--is to experience such profound and unconditional gratitude for this life that you would be lo